The Green Monster and some other stuff.

Oh what a weird week Ive had. I was so excited for Jake to go to Hawaii and do his thing...but when he left and called me when he got there I had a really hard time even talking to him cuz I was so FREAKING JELOUS!!! haha. well I had a good cry and the jelous thing lasted about a day and then I got excited again. I really dont want to feel that way but it just happens sometimes you know. Its easy to get over though when I start counting my blessings and realzing that I actually chose to stay home. We totally could have pulled off the whole famiy going. We would have been in debt and broke for a long time but still maybe it would have been worth it...what is money copared to experiences. Well having a roof over our heads is nice but really who cares when we could be in hawaii right now with Jake and get to see his dream come true of playing in front of his home crowd. Oh it makes me sad that we are missing that. I think we made the mature decision...Im just wishing I could somehow teleport over there:). I feel like a lot of the time I do a lot of the behind the scenes work with jake especially with the kids and its hard to not get to be there for the fun stuff like HEADLINING at BYUH!!! How cool would it be to see your true love live his dream!!! anyways he is dreaming bigger and bigger these days so that is really fun. We will see where the music world takes us next:) this has been a really cool ride. I love seeing jakes confidence these days. Anyways there are all kinds of things in the works. You know when it comes down to it though and the J stuff wears off I am soooo amazingly happy and exctied for Jake. I get butter flies in my tummy and I root for him and I pray and reach out to the heavens for his success and happiness tons and tons. I miss him but I really feel like I am there with him living it. I am really greatful for this feeling and I know where it comes from. Heavenly Father is totally hooking me up with love and peace and joy and CHARITY. I think charity is like a drug. I read this book Twilight recently...(totally obsessed with it now by the way.) and this Vampire is in love with a girl whose blood is his brand of heroin and he is a heroin (blood) addict. Anyways I think Charity is my brand of Heroin. Once you taste it yer hooked. Okay that is a really really bad example...HAHAHA.. ill leave it there just so I can laugh at myself but really Charity feels so much better than any drug or any thrill ride. Its so over whelming and there are so many good things that come from it. The only thing is that we have to work for it. I could wallow in my Jolly green giantness however I chose to be happy and Heavenly Father totally blesses us ten fold or even more when we make choices like that. I feel (words cant express but ill try anyways) right now just thrilled and overwhelmed like im gunna explode cuz im sooooo freaking amazingly happy and excited for life. I feel like I just ran a merathon and my endorphines are kicking in. I dont feel as amazing as I did after giving birth but kinda close to that. I feel happy.
I started feeling happy (besides my bouts of j:D after RS last week. I felt like my cup was full. I got to talk to amazing women and hang out and eat some cool wheat stuff and I had a ball. I think I need to show myself more love and do more things with the ladies because I was so nice and so happy and so easy to be with after that. HAHA> thats funny. If im happy my family will be happy too.

Anyways so happy Hawaii for Jake and Happy rainy days in Montana for me. I feel like Im in Hawaii cuz its so green and rainy and Im just happy.:D reminds me of how i felt there:D

"Light"

K so Im looking over my notes from woments confrence in 06' such a good confrence. Anyways I came accross this talk by someone named Campbell on 6 Truths for the Journey on becoming a "wise Woman". SO I took notes in my own way and I only have three poins but lots of good stuff so i wanted to write down what I got out of it:) sooooo coool:)
They (Campell..not sure it its a boy or girl but asume its a woman) talked a lot about the light of Christ and how we all are born with this light. Its an inate part of us this light. Isnt that cool we all come from an eternal being full of light and it only makes sence that we are beings of light too. So light=God=Love right. :)
1.I am full of Light. It is eternal all of us everyone ...everyone...has it
2. All commandmets are encompassed in the verb "to love" its simple and beautiful...I love you so I wont steel lie cheat or what ever it is I wont do it to you because I love you. I wont do those things either because I love God. If we are full of love we cannot break the commandments because it would go against our very nature which has been changed because we have worked so hard to learn about and be like Jesus that we are now more like him than we ever have been before and now we are always filled with his love and that is the key to everything. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Okay this is my favorite part right here.
The light of Christ in me embraces the light in you. The Power of God in me Recognized the power in you.
So some of you might know me as cheery and bubbly and full of fun love stuff. I really am happy when I am that way but sometimes I feel like I need to tone it down because it makes people uncomfortable sometimes or it annoys people ...same thing. what ever...hahha. anywyas so this right here means to me that when I am shining it will help the people around me shine. Including my family. !!! WOW that was an epiphany!! We should never never tone down our lights for fear they could outshine other people. NO NO NO....we have to let all of our lights shine as much as they can so that we can make a difference in this dark world. Me shining my light gives other women the power to let their lights shine too!!!!! If we all shine together we can make the world...this amazing world a beautiful place to be.
Wow i gave myself goose bumps. Anyways so I hope that this is helpful to whoever reads this. I wrote it like I would in my journal so weird. here I go trying to be all dull when what I really want is to be bright like the Son!!!:) wahooo ...have a happy day yall:)
im so excited to go to enrichment. Its been way too long. In hawaii we got reminders on our doors when we were gunna go. Anyways I keep missing them here cuase my memory is similar to the abys...so wide and empty:D hahah. anyways so Dancy is gunna call me and remind me yaee...
Something else big today is that my mom is coming down. Im gunna go back with her to Wyoming so Jake wont worry while he is in Hawaii. Im so excited for him!!! Yaeee for BYUH for bringing his show to town!!! its gunna be amazing:) and me and the boys will be safe and sound and entertained while hes gone:) lots of love:) mandy

Gotta love the Bible Dictionary:)

BIBLE DICTIONARY
Charity:

The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deeds or benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive (1 Cor. 8: 1; 1 Cor. 13: 1-4, 8; 1 Cor. 13; 1 Cor. 14: 1. cf. Moro. 7: 47).

I just want to remember times I have felt Charity.
1. When Jakey boy was on his way I felt just complete love for everyone in the room and everyone out of the room too:) I was in pain and uncomfortable, but never have I felt more excitement or joy or just peace, acceptance and love. I even loved the lady who missed the epidural shot four times. I loved her more when it finally went in the fith time after fourty five minuets!! HAHAHA. I felt so loved.
Before I went into labor I was sure that I would not even want Jake in the room. Perfect strangers who i would never see again was just fine:) However, when the day arived I was sooo excited and happy that I invited my whole family!! Ruth, Jakes mom, was there and Meilani my sister in law, my Mom was there and My lovely sister Beth was there along with Jake and a whole slew of nurses and doctors. The guys and Liana were right outside having a party on the patio...cool set up by the way:) I was not weireded out by it at all that day:) Any one who wanted to be there for the celebration was welcome:) I felt like the other side wassooo close and I bet all my kids were there and other people I loved but couldnt see. It was amazing!!
I think that is the first time I felt real charity. It would be such a neat thing to have that feeling all the time:)
2. After a big confrence in Hawaii. I think it was a confrence for poeple with callings and I went for the releif society or something like that. Anyways after the meeting I think we all felt the same feeling. It was so unawkward. You know saying goodbyes and hellos to people is sometimes awkward for me and this time it was beautiful. Wonderful. FUN!! I loved all those people and it was just neat:)
3. I felt charity or true love one time when Jake took me in the backyard to pray. I was having a horrible week. Jake said a prayer with me and then hugged me and all my worries and stress and fears just were gone I could feel them leave. I went home that night and read the scripture perfect love casteth out all fear. At the time I read it Chases out all fear and that was what it felt like. His love chased out all my fears:)
4. That time I was offended by my friend and I prayed to see her like Jesus saw her. Man that was amazing!! I could not have a bad thought about her but knew that she was beautiful and lovely and praisworthy:) she was a wonderful mother and her saying things had nothing to do with me and she needed to be loved. very cool:)
5. Oh there are many small moments Ive felt charity but I think the coolest moments are when Im putting the boys to bed and there is just a moment where all is good in the world and my boys could do no wrong and they are peaceful and Oh I could eat that stuff up:)

Its good to relive these memories:) ill have to come back and edit this later:) here it is for now. baby calls:D

I'm like a star:)

This is a pic of me and Jake and Jakey when we were the three amigos:)
Im Like a Star:):D I love that song. Jakey made me sing it to him last night for bed. I was just reminded of that when I was reading some comments. I have been so worried about people reading my posts but I've had some good responses and maybe what I say can be uplifting to others:) I know I love reading what other people have to say about these same things. Anyways so I'm gunna sing that song when ever I get nervous about being honest:)

Im like a star shining brightly...shining for the whole world to see...I can do and say...happy things each day...for I know Heavenly Father loves me.

So instead of being scared and unshure Im just gunna pretend Im a star shinging brightly:) Nobody hates stars...lol Yaeee for primary songs and the love I feel when I sing em:)

I remember when I was a primary song leader and I would always ask if anyone had an experience with music that week. I will never forget how primary songs helped me get through some of the hardest moments in my life. Especially when I am alone when Jake is out of town. It gets scary some times but if i would just pop a song into my head I would feel a million times better. Warm fuzzies you know...:)I am a Child of God is one of my favorites. When Im having a bad day I just have to sing that one about the lilacs or count your many blessings or my all time fav...There is sunshine in my soul today:) Singing that song just fills me up to overflowing:)
Soooo I can totally sing primary songs when I am frustrated with life or motherhood ...and I can feel so much better in seriously the time it takes to sing the song. I just need a reminder that life is good:) Im so grateful that Jakey boy asked me to sing that song last night so I could feel better about my blog and have something to write about:) Its so nice to sing the boys my favs too. I hope they feel the same love I do when I sing em:)

Mother's perspective

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have ^adone it unto one of the ^bleast of these my ^cbrethren, ye have done it unto me.

There was a time right after I had Jakey boy that I felt totally worthless to the world. I was changing diapers all day long on a wacky sleeping scedual and having almost zero interaction with people who could talk...HAHAH. Well to say the least I was bummed out and felt like my brain and my spirituality was just kinda slipping away. Thank goodness for other mothers who have felt the same way. Meilani Told me she had been going through the same feelings and that she was trying to read the scriptures with a mothers perspective and she found this: Mathew 25:40. Who else is the least of these if it is not our children? They are helpless and they need to be taught love and charity and when I am changing Jakey's diaper I am helping my savior. What an amazing way to look at it. When I feed them and clothe them, when I wash them or help them get through a cold, when I visit them in time out:) hehe...I am serving them and by serving them I am serving you know who:D. How COOOL is THAT!!
I found this quote that shows how important the LDS view of motherhood is.

President David O. McKay (1873–1970): “[The] ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness … to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, … deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God” (Gospel Ideals [1954], 453–54).

So we who change diapers all day and get thrown up on and who feel like we are not making a difference are actually deserving of the "highest honor that man can give!" It fills me with inspiration and determination to do a good job and I know now that my job is sacred and awesome and nothing about it is small but extra Large:). Everything I do day to day is valued by those who matter most. Every runny nose I wipe , every song I sing and every book I read is counted and though I might not get thankyous I know that Heavenly Father is greatful for me and that is an amazing feeling!! I hope we can all feel his love and know that what we are doing is just amazing and powerful. What we do with our kids now will change the world.

I love this scripture now and everytime I need reminded why I am doing what I am doing, Why I am staying home instead of making us lots of money, I read this and I remember I am doing something here for my children that money cant buy. And I remember that I am sacrificing things of the world for things of an eternal value. How cool is it to have a constant loving person in your life. How cool is it that I get to be there for the first step and the first workd and all of the good stuff and the bad stuff. How cool is it that when they ask I can tell them :) really there is no harder or more fulfilling job in the world.

The time we have with our little ones will fly by and it would be so cool if we could look back and enjoyed every minuet we had with them again, in our memories. Wouldn't it be cool one day to look back and smile. Lets make some good memories today!!

Its hard to have charity when im distracted.

TV, computer, books, cleaning, and the list goes on. When my kids try to talk to me when I'm doing any of these things i get bothered instead of happy and excited that I have awesome children that can talk and want to talk to me. Cuz everyone knows that when they get older the last thing they are gunna want to do is talk to mom. Anyways so I think I need to shift my priorities. Ive known and seen this for a long time and its time to change right? If I want charity then I have to actually act like I have it...right? and stop doing what I'm doing and hear what they have to say. Even if its "Hey mom?" "yes" "you know what my elephant's name is?" "no what is your elephant's name?" "its Forton...hahhahah" Now that is sweet and cute right? and I should love it and enjoy it while I have it. Anyways my kids are my neighbors and I should treat them how I would want to be treated right? Well here is to my kids and treating them like I love them and adore them...cuz I do. They should know it:) and I'm being tested even as I write this:) so far so good:)

"Edifieth"

1Crointhians 8:1
Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.

Edifieth = builds up, strengthens, establishes, repairs.

The part of this scripture that grabs me is the end. "Charity edifieth." Then the foot note on edifieth is just cool. So if:
Charity=edify
and
Edifieth = builds up, strengthens, establishes, repairs
then
charity= builds up, strengthens, establishes, repairs.
So when I have charity I am building people up. I am strengthening others and establishing stuff as well as making things better. In other words I'm bringing good into the world. I'm not destroying things or making people feel bad even when I feel bad. Actually I guess if I have charity im not feeling bad either:)
Sometimes its so hard to be a builder upper. When the milk spills all over the kitchen floor and you see who did it, now is when the test of charity comes. Am I gunna give a nasty look and sigh or say something not so nice or......Am I gunna smile and say hey milk bath everyone jump in!!! just kidding. I experience this a lot and when I am feeling the love I say "Hey honey its okay. Lets clean it up, there is no use crying over spilt milk." You know what is funny? Usually when I'm not feeling the love I spill something five minuets later and realize why am I yelling at my kids for making an accident??? We all make accidents! So in the moment Im gunna show my kids that accidents happen and they can be cleaned up and its really gunna be okay. I think Heavenly Father is soooo super patient. If I want ot be like him I should put on my patient pants too:)
I really want my family to be stronger and I know that I am a big part of that. When I have charity I strengthen my bonds with my husband and my kiddos:) I want to have a happy home and when I feel the love I can see the love in their eyes coming right back at me. There is nothing better than a big hug and a kiss on the neck from your hubby when he walks in the door. Sometimes I have to think would I want to kiss me right now or run the other way? HAHA. We cant feel the love always because we are not perfect but I think its important to remember that making the choice to be happy makes the day so much easier.
By the way I always associate love charity and happiness as the same thing. They all give me good lovely feelings so they must come from the same place.
I think this is a good blog for today. This feels so good. Alohaaa:)

We can Chat online with Missionaries!!!

http://mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/ask-a-question/chat-live

So I was blogging and had a question I couldnt find on the curch web site and I came upon this!! I can talk to missionaries in an easy unscary way!! soooo cool!! anyways so I typed in my name and my eamil and I got to talk with someone Named AMANDA!!! how cool is that. Thats the name I signed in with. Anyways so everyone check it out and go get your questions answered by real people in real time:)!!! Im so excited about this!! love it!!