Friday, October 24, 2008

More on Forgiveness

Well Ive been researching my Forgiveness topic and I totally realize that I have some forgiving to do. Here is a great quote I found on

Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships: “Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds.

This reminds me of how I hehehe
Saying I forgive you does not mean that what someone did is okay. It just means Im ready to let go and move on. Im ready to use my energy for good. Im ready to heal. I can say I forgive you to my father even though he hasn't asked for it. I can say it and mean it. That doesn't mean I am letting him back into my life or that all his inactivity in my life was okay it just means Im letting go and wishing him well. Does that make sense? Its something Ive really really struggled with. I had a really good talk with my sister this weekend (I love you Bell thankyou:) and I just realize that you know what I'm not the only one who can't deal with him...thats okay. It is alright for me not to deal with my Father. It kinda makes me sad that I cant just dig deep and find the charity I need to be a part of his life but I am so not feeling guilty for that right now or ashamed. I feel empowered. It sounds really harsh to me in my head but I really feel strong and healthy now that Ive closed that book. I have to laugh and think is that really really okay? because he is lonely he is sick and he has brain damage. Shouldnt I dig deep and let him in? My answer has to be no. Maybe its no for now but I cant let the drama of my sperm doner because that is essnetially what he is...thankyou dad for giving my Mom a chance to give birth to me. Thankyou for paying your child support and thankyou for staying away for so long. You know in saying I forgive I am also saying goodbye. Maybe we can be friends in Heaven:D..but right now I have to do what is best for me and my family. It is saying goodbye to my dad's mother as well. That is a difficult thing for me too. I mean she is sposed to be my grandma and im sposed to take care of her...but im not...and I feel sooo comforted about that. It really makes no sense to my logic...but my heart says its the right thing for me...anyways I hope this helps other people some day when im giving talks all around the world. WAHOOOOO:D
So I forgive my dad. I am so glad I got to talk to Beth and im really excited to use this new energy I have for love and fun and my children:D...K Im off to clean my house!!!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

New Talk Im working on I need your sugestions!

1. Loose spiritual weight..repentance

2. Build spiritual muscle...consistent study and prayer...

3. Flexing your spiritual muscles.:D...mission...finding other things that bring joy

K so here is a loose outline...Im really excited to get started writing talks and know finding my passion!! so I would love your input and ideas:D

I was a weight lifter in Highschool...weird I know...(these are the only pics I could find of highschool ageness lol thought yall might wanna see me in younger buffness...HAHAH) but so many things went into being a good lifter...I did all kinds of sports and over the four years of high school my body totally transformed and I thought wow that is sooo like repentance. If we work on our spiritual fitness everyday and keep at it eventually we will be changed on the inside. So first you have to get rid of the spiritual baggage or weight...through repentance and then you start working on building can actually do both at the same time..some people like me have all kinds of weight everywhere plus big muscles under neath...its no fun though if you cant see the muscles...hahaha...k so anyways so being spiritually fit actually helps you be physically fit too!! its funy how when im on a spiritual high I clear out clutter in my house and I totally feel like working out...anyways soooo...then comes the finale...when I was in high school I totally with the other lifter girls flexed in front of the whole school!!! sounds weird but it was a really big accomplishment for us...we were the first and last girls to ever do it but it felt really good and it showed other girls that hey I can work out too and change my body too...haha..anyways so I have a lot of work to do to make it work but I would love some feed back here. What do you can I organize it better and do you have personal stories that you wouldn't mind me sharing?(who knows with maybe just my bathroom mirror:D) I know Im not the fittest person Im totally working on it and I know one day at a time just like with repentance gets me closer to my goal:D...k so wahoooo..i feel energized now :D...yaeeee!!! thats how being passionate is sposed to I wanna go run a mile:D...hehehe...

Friday, October 10, 2008

characteristics of Charity

Here are some characteristics of Charity in my own eyes. I wanna be like this:D

and Mandy:
suffereth long = being of good cheer even when things are just hard

is kind = loves those around her even when things are hard for them.

is happy for others= I succeed when you succeed!!

is humble = I cant do this alone..i need help

seeks for the welfare of others = i'm serving my children and husband and making sure they get what is most important and trying to do my visiting teaching.

rejoiceth in the truth= it feels so great to hear someones testimony

Beareth all things = children:D I ve born three:D

believeth all things = Just cuz I dont understand it dosn't mean its not true

hopeth all things = oh where to start. So hope for eternal life one day!! that is the ultimate goal after all:D

endureth all things = I can do poopie diapers and ramen noodles

is meek= speaking in a kind voice

is lowly in heart = I know Im nothing without Him.

confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ

is becoming the pure love of Christ

endureth forever= the ultimate goal again:D

Scripture of the day.
Moro. 7: 1, 44-47

1 And now I, Moroni, write a few of the words of my father Mormon, which he spake concerning faith, hope, and charity; for after this manner did he speak unto the people, as he taught them in the synagogue which they had built for the place of worship.
• • •
44 If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.
45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

My Charity Notes

This is my own personal blog that im writing in an Unapologetic manner about my faith and experiences in life that have brought me joy sorrow and Love.