Finding my Passion!!

So the last few weeks were a big trial for me..but I think it was totally necessary! Ive learned so much in just the last few days. I was at rock bottom on Friday...kinda...im sure my life is wonderful and great and im so blessed it was just a super duper hard day for me. Ive been dealing with change...something that has always been hard for me. Jake gone and me in charge of my life with nothing to look forward to. I think Irealized this when I was doing one of those emails that you answer all the questions in the world about what you ate and one of the questions was what dates are you looking forward to? I couldnt think of anything. There are a few that I pulled out of the air that I should be looking forward to but the point was that I had no goals. No reason to wake up in the morning you know. I mean my kids are beautiful. My Husband is beautiful. I wake up for them every day and that should be enough...but I was drowning cuz I didnt know where I was going. does that make sense? There has been nothing really for me. I support Jake in his career and I support my Jakey boy's drawing and his school and I change diapers all day and get excited for their milestones...but where are my milestones? I realized that I was stagnant and getting all rotten and weird and lame...I felt like the biggest wuss but then here comes an old friend..well a few friends actually helped me. First My Mommy who is always there for me has some wise words and she talked to my G-ma and then talked to me again and then I talked to Gma..haha.
Then I had a night out with a good friend H.P. and then I talked to Jake and then the next day though on an upward climb I was still stressed and a friend Tori called me. I was so so close to not answering cuz i was being anti social..haha. But something told me to so I did and she took one of the big stresses off my sholders by offering some girl clothes for my Bella girl:D and then she reminded me about Womens confrence that night!! I was soooo excited!! I knew it was Heavenly Father answering my prayers. Thanks Tori!! again!! Oh man it was such a gift...so I went to Womens confrence and was so inspired to create and to raise the bar for service. The more we give the more we are blessed. I think that is an eternal law...like Karma you know...what you put out there comes back...So I felt totally inspired and then Mindy and the girls invited me out to ice cream and we ended up having a BLAST!! I soooo needed my girls that night and they were so there!!! man to just be with fun positive people is really the best healing balm..haha. I got to play!!! man gotta love the wild girls:D..wild mamas:D..haha..anyways not to mention that we were going in the coolest car ever!!:D.. doesn't get any better than that!!
So you would think Heavnly Father would say k now knock it off and get back to life..haha but nope. He was sooo not finished and still isnt...but I digress...My old friend from Early TVA days came to see me! She and her husband are such inspirational people. It felt relly good to sit down and talk and I learned so so much. She is a photographer...not just any photographer she has worked to get her name out there to be one of the best..and she is. Anyways not so long ago she was like me...no goals nothing to drive her to success besides mother hood. which is totally rad in its own right but sometimes there needs to be something just for us. She told me her story about how she got started and I was so inspired. If she can do what she loves and be a young mom then why cant I? I can go learn things about my passion and get started putting myself out there. I really really want to be an inspirational speaker...it makes me smile and all giddy just to say that out loud to the world... I WANNA BE AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEAKER!! YES!! and I can totally do that and become the best in my world!! Yaeeee!! so since talking to her and talking to everyone and playing and learning I felt so so so much better about life...still Heavenly Father was not done...I got to go to R.S. and learn so much from the lesson from Danci!! I know what I want to do now I gotta figure how to get there. While sitting waiting to talk to Bishop after church I saw this really awesome sign...You want to be a Seminary Teacher?? YESSS!!! anyways so now I want to go to school to be an AMAZING Seminary teacher!!
Anyways so this post is super long but I wanted to get all in there the million ways Heavenly Father helped me dojavascript:void(0) a one eighty and feel on top of the world in just three days!! I mentioned a few things but there was so much more like getting closer to Jake...midnight conversations and my grandparents deciding to come visit me!! dude ...I feel feel feel the love pouring out from Heavenly Father and I am so so so Greatful!! thankyou to everyone for being my angels this weekend which is actually gunna go down as one of my fav weekends of all time!!! wahooooo!!! The big guy upstairs is the coolest!!
Cant wait to see what happens this week!! Im so excited!!!

widdows mite...Im enough!!!

So I had Joy school to do the next morning but I kept feeling impressed to read my lesson for church (sunbeams) I was like that is very out of order:D anyways so I gave in and finally read my lesson for church first and I totally got inspired by the story about the widows mite. She gave everything she had and it was enough.

Basically Heavenly Father wants us to give what WE have. He doesnt expect me to give what Oprah has:D..lol... I have only so much to give and that is okay. I dont have to feel bad for not giving more than I have. does that make sense. I come down hard on myself for my weaknesses like most of us do but I just felt so much better for reading that and the next day at Joy school I wasnt all apologizing all day for being inadequate cuz I know in Heavenly Fathers eyes I am enough:D...how cool is that!! Im enough!! Yaeeee!!

Joy School!!



K im updating here. I moved a couple of posts to our other bog...just cuz I thought they were cooler there:D..i never blog over there so why not...

so Joy school has been really fun. Its just a group of moms who buy the program and follow it with our todlers and preschoolers. so far its been really fun. I am getting to know some great mothers. Liana..my sisterinlaw and Marie..lianas sisterinlaw:D and our cousin Luana..who happens to be my friend from Highschool days. SOOO COOOL!! so its been a joy to get to know the kiddos and get motivated and into that teaching mode. Im so excited for zion and bella to be influenced by these Freaking Amazing women!! love it!!


Jakes New Job




Look at what my baby did!!! so we always tell the kids they are'nt allowed to draw on the car...HAHAH but dang...Jake has taken it to a whole new level. I have two artists in my home at the moment and its been such joy to fill my home with art and drawings and music of all kinds. Me and the kids miss daddy a lot cuz he is gone a lot more now. It has been sooooooo soooo sooooooooo COOOL! to see Jake so passionate about his day job:D...its never been so fun for him to work:D...the eager shine in his eye when he gets ready to leave and his energy level when he gets home has been like a 180!! its such a gift!! yea for graphic designing:D
I realized today that we have been crabby at eachother a lot...its soooo weird cuz I reallly reallly miss him and then when he comes home I'm mad at him cuz he was gone all day..HAHA believe it or not this is the first job that has taken him away for most of our waking hours. Hes always worked nights or mornings so this is weird for me really having to be a mom alone with the kids all day. Its hard but totally cool cuz i get to run the show and i get a lot done and I'm learning all kinds of new things...its great. I just miss my big snoring tedy bear:D...HAHA
I always get mad at things that i dont understand till like a month later...like when my sister went to college I would be so mean to her when I would see her and I wouldn't talk to her, we finally realized I was mad at her for leaving...HAHAHA anyways so you would think we would savor the moments we have together.
Its nice that im getting to know myself right so I cought it before it was too long...just two days...but anyways so today I said "hey...we don't have much time together right? So lets spend what little time we have loving eachother instead of arguing." Right away we had such a different atmosphere in the house....Yaee for the holy ghost knowing me better than I do and Yaee for following His promtings and yaeee for sweet kisses before Jake takes off for work!
K I know this was super long and confusing haha but I had to write it down so I remember.:D


One more fun thing that happened today!! Potty training is on hold indefinitely..HAHAHA Soooo Zion is such a fun boy I just cant get enough of him ...usually...;D anyways sooo today as usual I was letting him run around neked so he would go potty on the potty. For about a week this has been the way to go...ive been waiting and waiting for him to go pooh on the potty he usually waits till i get the diaper on him for bed time or to go out...anyways today no waiting...he ran up to me and said i wen popo on groun...i wen popo on goun.... I was like hh? what are you saying then I got up to see and sure enough there was the long awaited poo all over in little plops...a little here a little there all down the hall way....AAAAAAAHHHHHH so he is not ready and im not ready for more of that soooooo im just gunna wait till he is big enough to understand that that is nasty and mommy doesnt like cleaning that up and stuff instead of him being excited about it:D HAHAHA love the children despise the poooh...HAHHA just kidding...k thats it for that day:D...i was inspired by Tori:D