Finding my Passion!!

So the last few weeks were a big trial for me..but I think it was totally necessary! Ive learned so much in just the last few days. I was at rock bottom on Friday...kinda...im sure my life is wonderful and great and im so blessed it was just a super duper hard day for me. Ive been dealing with change...something that has always been hard for me. Jake gone and me in charge of my life with nothing to look forward to. I think Irealized this when I was doing one of those emails that you answer all the questions in the world about what you ate and one of the questions was what dates are you looking forward to? I couldnt think of anything. There are a few that I pulled out of the air that I should be looking forward to but the point was that I had no goals. No reason to wake up in the morning you know. I mean my kids are beautiful. My Husband is beautiful. I wake up for them every day and that should be enough...but I was drowning cuz I didnt know where I was going. does that make sense? There has been nothing really for me. I support Jake in his career and I support my Jakey boy's drawing and his school and I change diapers all day and get excited for their milestones...but where are my milestones? I realized that I was stagnant and getting all rotten and weird and lame...I felt like the biggest wuss but then here comes an old friend..well a few friends actually helped me. First My Mommy who is always there for me has some wise words and she talked to my G-ma and then talked to me again and then I talked to Gma..haha.
Then I had a night out with a good friend H.P. and then I talked to Jake and then the next day though on an upward climb I was still stressed and a friend Tori called me. I was so so close to not answering cuz i was being anti social..haha. But something told me to so I did and she took one of the big stresses off my sholders by offering some girl clothes for my Bella girl:D and then she reminded me about Womens confrence that night!! I was soooo excited!! I knew it was Heavenly Father answering my prayers. Thanks Tori!! again!! Oh man it was such a gift...so I went to Womens confrence and was so inspired to create and to raise the bar for service. The more we give the more we are blessed. I think that is an eternal law...like Karma you know...what you put out there comes back...So I felt totally inspired and then Mindy and the girls invited me out to ice cream and we ended up having a BLAST!! I soooo needed my girls that night and they were so there!!! man to just be with fun positive people is really the best healing balm..haha. I got to play!!! man gotta love the wild girls:D..wild mamas:D..haha..anyways not to mention that we were going in the coolest car ever!!:D.. doesn't get any better than that!!
So you would think Heavnly Father would say k now knock it off and get back to life..haha but nope. He was sooo not finished and still isnt...but I digress...My old friend from Early TVA days came to see me! She and her husband are such inspirational people. It felt relly good to sit down and talk and I learned so so much. She is a photographer...not just any photographer she has worked to get her name out there to be one of the best..and she is. Anyways not so long ago she was like me...no goals nothing to drive her to success besides mother hood. which is totally rad in its own right but sometimes there needs to be something just for us. She told me her story about how she got started and I was so inspired. If she can do what she loves and be a young mom then why cant I? I can go learn things about my passion and get started putting myself out there. I really really want to be an inspirational speaker...it makes me smile and all giddy just to say that out loud to the world... I WANNA BE AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEAKER!! YES!! and I can totally do that and become the best in my world!! Yaeeee!! so since talking to her and talking to everyone and playing and learning I felt so so so much better about life...still Heavenly Father was not done...I got to go to R.S. and learn so much from the lesson from Danci!! I know what I want to do now I gotta figure how to get there. While sitting waiting to talk to Bishop after church I saw this really awesome sign...You want to be a Seminary Teacher?? YESSS!!! anyways so now I want to go to school to be an AMAZING Seminary teacher!!
Anyways so this post is super long but I wanted to get all in there the million ways Heavenly Father helped me dojavascript:void(0) a one eighty and feel on top of the world in just three days!! I mentioned a few things but there was so much more like getting closer to Jake...midnight conversations and my grandparents deciding to come visit me!! dude ...I feel feel feel the love pouring out from Heavenly Father and I am so so so Greatful!! thankyou to everyone for being my angels this weekend which is actually gunna go down as one of my fav weekends of all time!!! wahooooo!!! The big guy upstairs is the coolest!!
Cant wait to see what happens this week!! Im so excited!!!