Oh what a weird week Ive had. I was so excited for Jake to go to Hawaii and do his thing...but when he left and called me when he got there I had a really hard time even talking to him cuz I was so FREAKING JELOUS!!! haha. well I had a good cry and the jelous thing lasted about a day and then I got excited again. I really dont want to feel that way but it just happens sometimes you know. Its easy to get over though when I start counting my blessings and realzing that I actually chose to stay home. We totally could have pulled off the whole famiy going. We would have been in debt and broke for a long time but still maybe it would have been worth it...what is money copared to experiences. Well having a roof over our heads is nice but really who cares when we could be in hawaii right now with Jake and get to see his dream come true of playing in front of his home crowd. Oh it makes me sad that we are missing that. I think we made the mature decision...Im just wishing I could somehow teleport over there:). I feel like a lot of the time I do a lot of the behind the scenes work with jake especially with the kids and its hard to not get to be there for the fun stuff like HEADLINING at BYUH!!! How cool would it be to see your true love live his dream!!! anyways he is dreaming bigger and bigger these days so that is really fun. We will see where the music world takes us next:) this has been a really cool ride. I love seeing jakes confidence these days. Anyways there are all kinds of things in the works. You know when it comes down to it though and the J stuff wears off I am soooo amazingly happy and exctied for Jake. I get butter flies in my tummy and I root for him and I pray and reach out to the heavens for his success and happiness tons and tons. I miss him but I really feel like I am there with him living it. I am really greatful for this feeling and I know where it comes from. Heavenly Father is totally hooking me up with love and peace and joy and CHARITY. I think charity is like a drug. I read this book Twilight recently...(totally obsessed with it now by the way.) and this Vampire is in love with a girl whose blood is his brand of heroin and he is a heroin (blood) addict. Anyways I think Charity is my brand of Heroin. Once you taste it yer hooked. Okay that is a really really bad example...HAHAHA.. ill leave it there just so I can laugh at myself but really Charity feels so much better than any drug or any thrill ride. Its so over whelming and there are so many good things that come from it. The only thing is that we have to work for it. I could wallow in my Jolly green giantness however I chose to be happy and Heavenly Father totally blesses us ten fold or even more when we make choices like that. I feel (words cant express but ill try anyways) right now just thrilled and overwhelmed like im gunna explode cuz im sooooo freaking amazingly happy and excited for life. I feel like I just ran a merathon and my endorphines are kicking in. I dont feel as amazing as I did after giving birth but kinda close to that. I feel happy.
I started feeling happy (besides my bouts of j:D after RS last week. I felt like my cup was full. I got to talk to amazing women and hang out and eat some cool wheat stuff and I had a ball. I think I need to show myself more love and do more things with the ladies because I was so nice and so happy and so easy to be with after that. HAHA> thats funny. If im happy my family will be happy too.
Anyways so happy Hawaii for Jake and Happy rainy days in Montana for me. I feel like Im in Hawaii cuz its so green and rainy and Im just happy.:D reminds me of how i felt there:D
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