Love thy neighbor as thyself.

Just a quick one for today. Karma/do unto others/what goes around comes around/love thy neighbor as thyself. Eternal truth found in religions all over the globe. Let's practice this!! Exames coming soon:)

Well Its been a while. What an adventure this life takes us on. Its SO HOT!! and so Im not running much lately but I am doing Piyo and Insanity and Jake tries his best to train me in the wt lifting life hahaha. Those Wts got nothin on me...haha. ANyways Ive given my kids the asignement to write in their jounal everyday this summer and so I thought I better get to it as well:D SO here goes. I didnt write my goals for the new year and since its Half way through the year its as good a time as any:D

1. Get to the temple once a month. I cant believe how lucky I am to have the temple so close...why do I only go once in a blue moon? Well because I put entertainment and fun higher on my priority list. SMH!! so that is changing and JBoy has his recommend now and I want to take him and his cousins once a month too for baptisms. I'm excited to be writing this down and committing to it:D 2.I also commited to reading the Book of Mormon in one month. I finished it in three:D haha:D Hooray:D I am commiting again to read it two more times before the year ends. Its amazing how I would read something and then see it the next day happening in the world and Id know how to apply it to my life. 3. Food STORAGE!!! Can I just put a couple of things in every time i go to the store...its really not that complicated. Or I could sign up for thrive... I love that stuff!! I did go last year to the cannery and canned some oats... that was amazing!! I am excited to make an inventory and fill in those gaps. Who wants Oatmeal till Jesus comes? Ill trade you some marshmallows!!! I think I should store smores stuff. 4. I am being healthy this year...mostly. In all fairness this year knocked the wind out of me... just like two years ago when I gained all of my wt back and I was in a hole of dispair haha and my mom made me go to the dr and we found out I have ADD!!! thats why Im so FUN!! haha anyways so I take my pill sometimes now and its great but this year was almost harder than that year and guess what! I am down ten lbs... and sometimes 15... I am slowly gaining momentum to a healthier looking me haha. I am really proud of myself for keeping it together and relying on the tools Heavenly Father helped me get and I didnt spiral!! HOORAY anyways so my goal I guess is to be active and to eat healthy which so far so good mostly.. Ill commit because Jake had me commit last night to working out 7 times a week:D that should help:D I think I can I actually Know I can and I will love it once I get moving Im unstoppable!! haha Here are some before pics I did a while ago. Ive already made some progress Ill post them someday:D This is something that Ill be working on till Im 105 so Im excited to love me at every stage:D

5. Love me. Love me. Love me. I think of my dream when I was a dolphin. I flew through the water of that river of goodness that lead to the fountain of righteousness you know like Lehi said to his sons be the river and be the something else... My brain made me a beautiful dream from that river and My dolphin self flew and swam and jumped and twisted and felt the freash cool water rush over my skin and fill me with JOY!! then I got really worried about my family and turned around to see them standing on the shore...but I realized that no they werent on that shore they were part of me and if I swam to the beautiful ocean of goodness that they would come with me automatically. So I am working on being an example of what I hope my children will be. Does that make sense? I want them to live Happy lives so I am living a happy life. I want them to work hard so I am working hard I want them to love themselves and have big happy self esteems so I am loving myself and showing what self esteem looks like. I want them to soar so I am soaring... haha:D So Love me Love me Love me so My children love themselves so my husband loves himself so we have lots of love to share. We cant love our neighbors without loving ourselves right :D Anyways so this is another rotating goal that I will be working on till im 105:D Hooray:D Well thats enough for today:D I love you Mandy:D Good job writing in your blog haha. See you tomorrow:D

Be the Good

Over the last few weeks horrible people and events dulled my faith in Humans. What in the world am I doing in this world and how do I change it? How can I make a difference when this seems SOOOOO BIG!! Well I prayed, I fasted, and I got my answers. Be the Good that people need to see in this world! Show people that there is beauty all around! Be a light and SHINE!!! So people dont loose hope. Be the good. Yes the world is rotten...I am not. I am strong I am faithful "I am like a star shining brightly for the whole world to see! I can do and say happy things each day, for I know Heavenly Father loves me" He loves you He loves me and together we can make a difference! Imagine this...There is Becky, a tired over worked mother of 5. Her oldest has just gotten married and the funds are tight. She takes a second job to work nights at a local convenience store just to make ends meat. Her youngest baby gets sick but she needs to work this overtime shift tonight to pay the rent and put a little food on the table. I walk in and have no idea who she is or why or where I just see a woman stressed out at the register. This is the choice I have today. Do I look past the seemingly sadness in her shoulders or do I ask her what I can do? What do you do? I know what I did and Im so excited to do it agian:D Pay it forward 2013:D

Health..ung..but still determined.

Well here I am 30lbs down from christmas 2011 :D Yaeee!! At one point I was 45lbs down but then a few lbs came back on and I was okay with that for a bit 198 was still 40lbs down well then came Christmas and hollidays for 2012...+10 and I got right back on the wagon and took most of it off by February woohoo:D 200 was a good number... then Grandma's house came..who gains 9lbs in one weekend? Me thats who...soon after came Hawaii in winter with all of the goodies and treats and malasadas and now here I am at 210 again haha.*crazy laugh* BUT I changed that day a year and four months ago:D I changed at the center of me and there is only keep trying left inside of me. Keep moving keep getting better keep after my real body:D Be nice to myself be good and take time for my body and my family and my life will be blessed. So even though like a toddler learning to walk I fall down lots...Im so gunna get this and maybe Ill be an expert walker fitness guru in a couple of years:D

VIVA

To live my life with purpose and intention and FUN! Maybe my purpose and intention should be to have fun. And laugh through the tears because there is nothing else to do. Sometimes dancing in the rain gets cold and soggy but you gotta keep dancing because whats the alternative? falling down in the gutter and being washed away...we would only be so lucky. I can do anything and be anything because I have a solid foundation on Christ and he has commanded us to find joy and to be happy. My stake Pres. told me once when I was crying to him about my life. You know mandy one thing I know is that the sun is always right around the corner. I feel that sunshine shining on my face and my heart and I cant help but smile.

Sleep!! to loose it... Who knew:D?

Hi Yall:D I know its been forever but I had to share my experience while its fresh.

For the past 9 years Ive been on a constant weight battle.

Had Jakey: very cool boy btw:


and after TWO YEARS!!! of losing not one pound even though I did run two miles and did crazy yoga or tai Bo every day...

Nope not a pound.

Jake went on a trip so I couldnt wake up at 5 am
and go work out so I ended up getting more sleep and I was eating great. Bam two weeks
ten lbs...no exersize lol. (maybe...it could have been the extra sleep looking back?)

looking good after getting back to my goal weight..jakey is two:D WOOHOOO!! IM never gunna be fat again!!!!

Just kidding:D Here comes Zion:D



Hit the 200 mark with him:


and was starting to lose it when bam here
comes Miss Bella.



I hit 215...



Note:When I left the hospital I weighed more than when I went in....there
needs to be a support group for that.


Okay so here I am four years after Bella and I am 238lbs!!! Three kids is SUPER hard.
stress has a way of making me crazy...unless I have some cake or chocolate...



then im perfectly normal and loving and can go throughout my day happy as can be.

weird I know. But I didnt know how to balance it out. I would rather be fat and happy you know
than be a mean mom. SO I let myself go.

Last year I did a Triathalon to help me get in shape (smh cant believe im sharing this lol but its not like anyone reads this so its okay right haha:D its honest and thats what I need right now)

...lost maybe 2 lbs....AAAAAAAHHH and I really was working out 1-2 hours a DAY!!! for 6 FREAKING MONTHS!!! to get ready for this thing...HAHAHA (crazy laugh again)

I did feel good though and was excited to keep going...

the flue came along...then the flooding of the bedroom...then the replacing of the floors...then the amazing yet stressful moving in of my family and adjusting to 7 kids and...then there was the searching for houses and the buying of the house...and the moving...blablabla.... I didnt want to make the sacrifices it would take to workout and go throught all of that (which I should have..) So I quickly gained 20lbs and was heavier than ever. Laaaame!!! I know.

New years is going to be different this year. Ive decided. and that is that. end of story. So
we buy a juicer and get a gym pass and wala were losing weight. I keep gaining back everything
Ive lost during our juicing though after I get down to 228. So for three months I get closer to getting
out of the 20s just to get right back up close to the 30s. IM GUNNA GO CRAZY!!! at least I feel healthier lol.

Now Ive decided...I am dedicated. I got to see a personal trainer and have a break down and bawl
in front of this total stranger. I hate her a love her and Im excited to really start this journey now.
ive been meeting with her every week for the last month and have been working out at least 5 hours a
week. I have not lost one single lb. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (crazy laugh...again) IM WORKING SOOOO HARD!! but this is not unusual. THis is how it has been for the last 9 years. WORK AND WORK AND WORK and see ZIPPO results.

K so this is the trick. I decided to pray...
not just for help in working out. But help in actually healing my body so I could loose weight. I felt like I was doing everything I possibly could and I just needed devine intervention now...

SOOOO guess what Heavenly Father told me!!! Yes He hears me and answers me now and again haha. I heard that still small voice say "You need to sleep."

I was like whaaaaaat? its that easy? Which really isnt easy for me but soemthing I dont mind giving a true dedicated Go Mandy shot:D

K so this was friday night. I had just gotten done working out for two hours and it was 1am. It was the only time I had
and I was commited now so I HAD to get there and get my workout on. lol.
Since then I have gotten a full 8 hours of sleep every night. today I weigh in at 222!!!!! WHAAAAAT!!!!:D Happpy DANCE HAPPY DANCE!!!! I feel a direct corrolation between sleep and actual dropping of lbs. Either that or Heavenly Father is doing one of those go wash in the river 8 times things to see if I have faith.
SO here is to commitment and determination and dedication and Good Decisions. and most of all here is to answered Prayers. Thanks to my Father in Heaven for always looking out for me. I swear he has millions of answers for me. I need to go to Him more often with these life issues. He cares and I know he will always help me out:D
So as long as I keep working out and keep eating great food and keep sleeping I will keep losing:D I HOPE!!! and isnt that what life is all about? Hope:D Love and Faith? WOOOHOOOOOO:D Ill up date you guys next year probly lol:D just had to write this down:D

Inspiration

So I was reading the interview Stephanie Meyer did with Shannon Hall (both authors of some of my favorite books) and I came to the part where Stephenie talks about her dream and how she started writing and how she felt "compelled" to finish the story to find out how it ends. I got TOTALLY inspired and wondered what I am compelled to do like that and I realized sewing is a HUGE fun part of my life:D I can stay up all night just to sew a pair of pants or a new blankie for someone:D I LOVE the creating process.



SO Ive been sewing the last two days and writing too and decided my poor blog needed a post:D
So what gets you all riled up and excited for life?

My Goals for the rest of this month:D

1. Go to the temple tomorrow
2. Clean my home
a. Have my children help me singing songs while we work:D
b. If possible get birds and small rodents to help too:D
c. keep up with the work(less facebook games)especially when im feeling better:D
3. Clean up my diet.
a. Eat more vegies
a. go buy vegies
b. Prepare vegies (cute them/cook them)...
b. Eat less sugar
a. Avoid obvious things like candy
b. eat square meals so my sugar levels are more even
c. drink more water
4. Read a 4hr work week.

My Talk

Being raised in a home where the traditions of marriage and preisthood were absent,
I have an added gratitude for my mother and her faith and prayers. Her faith is what made me a woman of God. I know that in most cases children from single parent homes do not graduate from college and do not get married in the temple and do not acheive masters degrees like my sister.

And how are we supposed to live a NORMAL family life when we have
never really seen it in action? How am I supposed to know my role as a child or as a wife or as a mother when I saw only glimpses of what it was supposed to be.

However because my mother
worked to the bone and cried to the Lord every day and night and showed us by example how to be faithful women we (my sister and I) can walk in a path we do not know because we have her faith ground into our bones and we know that the Lord will show the way.

She has had to work harder than any woman or man ever should. Her efforts made
us whole when we should have been broken, But because she worked so hard I am more so grateful for the role I get to establish in my home as a Mother and as a wife:D.

Our roles are made to make life joyful and burdens lighter. When we fulfill our roles Life is SO much easier for Everyone. as it says in

Ecclesiastics
9 ¶aTwo are better than one; because they have a good breward for their labour.

10For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Though I cant say I suffered for not having a father because my mother was Super woman She did mightily suffer. How beautiful I feel when Jake eases my burden for a little while and takes the kids to play or rubs my shoulders or when he brings me chocolate milk or is there to just talk to me after a long day. How wonderful is it to have
a team mate:D

I bask in the Joy that fills my heart when my kids get to call the love of my eternal life Daddy. It always stung a little..... just a little when my friends would call out Daddy! No more though:D
I am so happy.

unbelieveably happy for one dear friend in particular Analee Christiensen:D I was with her one day when she got exasperated with her father because he was being just a tinny bit over protective:D At first I was thinking doesnt she know how AMAZING it is that she has this man trying to be there for her?

Doesnt she know?
I would give anything to have a father who really
truly loved me like that.

...and then I stepped back... I just smiled inside knowing that one day Bella would have that same tone of voice and that same attitude with her father:D

Analee
had that gift of Knowing Knowing Knowing that Daddy LOVED her no matter how hard she tried to make him see how grown she was:D

Daddy is a sacred roll in the home.


Sacred and
wonderful and beautiful.
How cool would it have been to have a father provide for our little family? How wonderful is it that you fathers here in this room get the opportunity to do so?

Oh How her burden would have been
lifted had a father stepped up to the plate and taken over his role as guardian, provider and protector.

Do you Fathers know how sacred your calling is? How your love and support anchors your family to Heaven with the preisthood? If you havent thought about it before think about it now and make a decision to be a little bit better a
little bit kinder and a little bit more grateful for what you have.


If you look at your Sons and want them to be respectable loving men You need to be a loving respectable man. If you see your daughters and want them to marry men who will honor their priesthood and Reverence womanhood then you need to be Honoring and reverencing so that they can see it and feel it and know How it is supposed to feel to be loved and cherished and in turn refuse to accept anything less.

Like I said I never suffered for not having a father
my mother made sure of it.
We had priesthood blessings from home teachers and daddy
daughter dates with the bishop and all kinds of experiences that gave us access to the power of God. In some ways I have faith to move mountains because I saw my mother do it and I KNOW its possible to make it through ANYTHING
as long as I put my trust where it belongs. I will be Forever Grateful for the love my Mother poured into us:D

Her hope and faith that one day I would have a better life made me all the more determined to make that happen too.

Ill admit that being a mother and wife was the farthest thing from my mind growing up. I was a tomb boy and I was determined to remain a tree climbing bike riding skateboard riding athlete:D

Being a mother has been something I have slowly grown into.


It has changed me in ways I never imagined possible. things are still
taking time to fill in. I think after 8 years I am catching up and realizing a few things I didnt know before...Like I said I never saw what a stay at home mom did day in and day out.

Ill never forget the moment at EFY when I realized I had NO IDEA how to be a wife and mother!!! I was FREAKED out!! cuz my Missionary was coming home in a few months and I didnt know how I would handle the role of wife...much less mother.

That day It was my job to teach about the roles of Wife and mother... I didnt think I had anything to offer these girls... I realized that day with the help
of those young girls and the other counselors there that I could make my home however I wanted it to be. I had seen different ways of managing a home here and there and I could take those examples and apply them to my home. When my mom did get to have some vacation time it was lovely to have her be home just for us:D and I wanted that for my kids:D

In that room with those girls I realized that I could do it:D
I knew Heavenly Father would Never leave me alone. He would lend me his strength and his wisdom where I had none. He has even softened my heart and made Motherhood my lifelong career choice.
Who would have thought:D

Motherhood is so revered in our Church and by our Heavenly Father. He will ALWAYS be beside us answering our prayers and lending us his arm. He also has our backs in our marriages as wives.

We as wives have a sacred responsibility to our husbands to be supportive and loving. We should show our love and gratitude for their efforts and celebrate their successes. and vice versa:D




Who should we emulate when we are thinking of our
roles as wives? Maybe Emma Smith. as
Susan Easton Black says:

Throughout her life as a wife, Emma experienced hardship, sorrow, persecution, and severe tests. Despite this,

she was faithful to the Lord’s invitation: “Let thy soul delight in thy husband, and the glory which shall come upon him” (D&C 25:14).

Emma’s responsibilities were many, and by comparison her weaknesses were few.

The lessons from the Lord’s revelations to Emma are clear: a wife is to cleave to her husband and comfort him,

serve in the Lord’s kingdom, and endure faithfully to the end.

Just prior to his death, the Prophet Joseph Smith invited Emma to write out a blessing that she would want from him.

She wrote in part, “I desire with all my heart to honor and respect my husband as my head,

ever to live in his confidence and by acting in unison with him, retain the place which God has given me by his side.” 7

Why did I marry Jake?




Because I LOVE him and I want him to be HAPPY:D I knew he would be
a wonderful Father and he was already a son that any mother would be proud of. I didnt marry him so that he could serve me though he does day in and day out:D
Sometimes it is tempting to get our weapons of war out and let them fall on our husbands because for some reason or other His shortcomings are obvious at the moment...but maybe we could be like the

Anti Lehi Nephites and chose to burry our weapons of war:D guilt trips, the cold shoulder, being easily offended. What ever your weapon of choice
having it burried in the the ground would not only help Him to prosper it will help us glimpse the men that God sees in them.

When we overlook imperfections and focus on the positive and magnify our callings as nurturers its amazing the difference it makes in the whole spirit of our homes and our Husbands. If I believe he is a great man how much easier is it for him to be a great man!! I need to lift him up and help him soar and my weapons only bring him heart ache and pain.

As mothers and Fathers together we are to rear our children so that they Know the Lord just as my Mother did

As Wives and Husbands it is imperative that we Love each other and work together to make home Heaven. So when we get to Heaven we wont have a hard time adjusting.

As children we must Honor and love our Parents all the days of our lives.

Christmas

I was so excited about making pj pants for my kiddos :D and my three neices (Beths kiddos). It was so sad for me to see that the kids liked their toys WAYYYY better haha:D DUUUH HAHAH:D

But I learned something invaluable too:D
A. They will eventually appreciate the dang pants haha. and
B. Heavenly Father must be so excited about giving us things. And this is just such a personal question for me. How do I receive his gifts? How do I receive His Son? How do I recieve This life? This Very breath? Do I push meaningful things away without much thought or thanks?
C Heavenly Father TOTALLY wants us to be happy and Grateful and wanting what I have is the key:D I AM most definently Happy and excited for life and I notice it all the more when I am sitting here thinging about the wonderful things in my life:D


I love Tuti on Eat Pray Love:D Smile with your Liver :D smile with your toes lol:D Being Greatful is the cure all:D Being happy and receiving life with a smile and a warm gratitude is an amazing way to live:D
I dont expect the children to choose pjs over toys lol but It brought up some personal questions Ive been pondering for a while:D

Love Mandy:D

I cant Run faster than I can Run.

FOr the last 7 years The majority of my Sundays have been spent loving the children. Every Sunday I give myself a little cheer for making it through the day:D
WOOOHOOOO:D We made it!!:D

Being the secratary for the last year or so has been a new challenge and fun:D An experience I encountered this last week reminded me how important it is to slow down. I cant run faster than I can run.

I was up again till 3 am working on primary things for the new year and I had that thought pop into my head. You cant run faster than you can and Heavenly Father will bless you if you go to bed. I did NOT procrastinate till the last minuet I had actually been working my ever shrinking sushie pretty hard for the last few months.

I didnt see how I would ever get this done.

I finally fell into bed with a prayer in my heart that Heavenly Father would help me out in the morning. After all You are the one who said we should go to bed early and all of that. :D maybe three am isnt early for most people but at that point in time haha it was for me:D

The morning arived waay to early and I got to work asap:D I was fumbling around really until. BAM!!!
there was an idea in my head and it seemed so simple! What would have taken me FOREVER!! took me 15-20 minuets and I had extra time to make them extra nice and they were next to perfection!!!

I know its not a big thing but at that time for me it meant the world to me. It was my miricle after I had seriously done all I could do. Heavenly Father doesnt expect us to run faster than we can. When He asks us for something he will never leave us hanging. THere will always be a way to get it done. ALWAYS and usually without pulling hair out or chomping nails to the bone:D

I took a leap of faith by going to bed and instead of long frustrating hours the next day I got to get all of my work done in the morning and then have a nice night with my Mom when I got her from the airport that afternoon:D WOOOOHOOOOO!!!! Made it again:D

Honeyville Farms:D

So excited for this Give away!! Love food storage!!! If you want some yummie foodstorage this is the place to find it!!

A few notes

Things Ive learned over the last few months.
1. Life is fragile.
2. Im a follower.
3. Praying for my children really helps me.
4. Heavenly Father has my back!
5. My brain is broken.
6. Trust and love dont necessarily co exist and that is TOTALLY okay.
7. The Lord really lightens my burdens ALL of the time.
8. if you dont use it you loose it, but if you used to use it all the time its easier to find it again:D
9. Kids grow up FAST like SONIC!
10. I am me and I actually like me:D I actually dont feel the need to defend myself and that is liberating. I think this comes from the awesomeness that 30 is right around the corner!! IM SOOOO EXCITED!! 30 is AWESOME!! 29 i dont know about its just a year of waiting till Im 30 in my mind. I better make it the year I prepare for 30!! Get in Shape:D Potty train Bella:D get Zion ready for school:D Jakey ready for Baptism!! Holy moly!

Faith!

“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”

Patrick Overton

SO I might look at Hillary Clinton or Lady Gaga or Oprah and think WOW those are some powerful women. Women who can make a difference. Sometimes its so easy to forget my own power and the power in the women around me.
The power we as women of faith hold moves mountains everyday including mountains of laundry. But seriously when we are with the Lord He is with us and he provides for us He can help us run up hills, He opens up the roads for us, all of the money in the world is His and he can make it come from anywhere when we need it.
A few weeks ago we fasted and prayed for a new car. We prayed in faith and gave the worry and stress of it all to Heavenly Father and just had faith that it would work out. My friend Liz was here and she actually said the prayer. It felt good and I knew we would be taken care of. Well that Thursday before Liz left for Hawaii we were blessed with a new (to us) car. I wont boar with all the details but me and Jake were just over whelmed with gratitude. We were humbled and our faith grew miles that day!
It just fills me with hope and Power to know without a doubt that the Lord is watching over us. Now this Power is sooo not my own power but the power of God. Seriously I hope we can all embrace the joy and the power the Lord gives us when we are filled with faith:D

Happy Birthday Grandma:D

My Grandma Sally turned 75 this year!!! Happy 75th Grandma!! I am so proud and excited to be your granddaughter! I remember the summer trips, the summer sausage sandwiches. I remember the clean house and the yummy friend chicken and mashed potatoes OH and the rolles:D Im still enjoying my relish and want some more jam:D I remember learning how to sew with your left over patches. You cheered me on at my soccer games and let me have a taste of the cookie dough:D You taught me by example how to be a powerful woman. How to embrace my roll as a wife and mother. You just did it and because of you Im learning how to too:D I love you Grandma and I cant wait to come visit you again:D and Grandpa too:D hehe:D but thats another story:D

Nat is Magic:D

It is so rare that people come into your life and make magic happen. I have one or two friends that are like magic for me. They make me believe I can do what ever it is that is in my heart to do. They make me better, they make me stronger, they bring me closer to my Savior and they make me feel magical:D Im not saying these people are perfect they are just people who make it easier to let my light shine:D
Natalie Norton is one magical person I know:D You can seriously move mountains when its the right thing to do. You work so hard to be kind to your children and to teach them about the savior. I just really admire your passion for life. You have an amazing ability to SHINE:D and when you shine you make it so much easier for me to shine too:D Thankyou for lighting my candle:D
There are other magical people in my life Life Omi and Liz and the people right around me in my ward here in Utah:D

study questions for me to get more magical:D
Do I let my light shine?
Do I focus on the important things in life?(Family, fun, Savior, LOVE!!)
Do I make it easier for people to shine?
What kind of friend(wife, mother) am I?

creative writing

Im a spirit Daughter of the most creative being in the universe. I am still just so inspired by this!! I have been trying to be creative by writing. I have decided to write my dreams down and I got one that I really kinda like even thought it was a night mare really. anyways Ive been adding things to it here and there but I dont know. This is the first part I like it:D it really was a night mare and i woke up when the light got me but it is really kinda dark:)


I had made it! I was finally free! I had evaded and maneuvered my whole life
and now I was walking up the grassy hill into the woods where I would be
safe. Safe from the bites. Safe from the stength and speed and wall
crawling people who lived in that building! I Escaped by the hair of my head
but no. it was all a lie. they let me go. I knew it was a lie because
there he stood blocking my way. The strongest and most evil of them all.
he was beautiful. He was death himself but oh he pleased the eye. His skin
breathed luxery, his face shone with the moonlight and his chin was covered
with a dark stubble. He was the picture of the perfrect man. His clothes were
tailored to fit his hard body. He reaked of money with his black cape
blowing in the wind along with his shoulder length locks of midnight.
His eyes were black and they were never ending pits of dispair, the
only thing that gave way to his sinister truth. He knew how to lure a woman
or a man from their safe harbor with his lies and deceit. I thought I had
finished. I thought I had survived but this moment after everything I
lived through I knew..now I would die. We did not speak but we both knew
this was the end. it was over. I would never see my family again. The sun
would never rise for me and warm my cool skin with its long yellow licks of
light. I would be lost soon forever in the pits of his demonic stare. I
would become one of them. Never to surface never to enjoy the wind in my
hair or the colors of spring. I would become a walking nitemare and there
was nothing I could do. Nothing but whisper one last prayer for help. One
last plea to my maker. In that moment as he reached out to touch my
face to take my soul and my body, my soul fell to her knees and wispered
to her maker one silent plea...please....so many emotions wraped up on one
tiny word and suddenly there was a light! i saw it I felt it and I was
gone! i was the light. I was safe. if I looked over my sholder his face
would be there again but no I wouldnt look I would not give my light. I
didnt know who or how or where I was but the darkness could not touch me.
Please. One word and I was safe on the wings of an angel. We were the light
together and there were others who were the light. He explained that I had
passed my trial. I would not give in even in the deepest dipair when
nothing was there but hell. I understood now.

P.S. I Love You!!

Wow its been forever haha!! HI blog *hug* sorry ive neglected you!! So my life has been wild this last couple of months. I just felt like writing today even though I should probably go take a nap while all three are down i just cant caust I wanna write..k so Last night I was watching p.s. I love you and Of course I was laughing and crying through the whole movie. But I have been prompted lately to write down all the things I learn so this is the product of watching psiloveyou. A really really really really really good love story!! Oh man...k well so this is what love should be to me and all of these words represent what my love wants to be and is at times:D what is your love?
I also realize that I will have a Teenager living with me in a week!!! Azita is the cutest little girl:D I loved babysitting her when I was a kid/teenager. It wasnt that long ago that I was a teenager full of all kinds of conflicting emotions and thoughts. I remember being 18 very clearly because it was the best and worst time of my life. I was figuring out who the heck I was on my own and that was scary and exhilarating!! anyways here are a couple of pics of all three girls I used to babysit:D Azita is the oldest:D then polly and then Monica:D



k so thinking about Azita and all the things she has been through since I saw her last made me want to relive my child hood and i found some pics I thought i would upload from all over my life haha:D these are fun for me to relive:D anyways ill try to make it in order.
I was a total skater girl:D haha





oh Im so glad I never have to be a tween again!! though I had some fun:D


highschool was a total blast for me with sports and friends and beaches:Dmmmm


EFY counselor was my dream JOB!! now what do I do? Ive already done what I wanted to do with my life...hahaha!!! Ill just have to take over EFY someday:D hehe:D I loved those kids and My Fave person there was Analee:D wahooo:D


College:D weeeeehaaaw!! oh my goodness i had sooo much fun finding myself when Jake was gone for two years:D I dated and danced and had more fun than should be legal for a hard working college student:D


Home sweet home:D I barely remember this stuff:D all I remember is Jake getting off the plane and remembering why I loved him so much:D SUCH A HOTTIE!!





17 and in love


a happy little family:D


two little boys:D



all five of us playing!! Yaeee:D Im so Fappy:D Fat/happy:D hopefully in the next year I will be less fat and more Happy:D but hey I am what I am and life is pretty good hey:D

I am really really excited to go to Heaven and watch my movie:D hehe:D I had so much fun so far I cant wait to go and look at it again and laugh and cry and shake my head at myself:P haha:D anyways this was fun:D

Keep the Sabbath Day Holly a college experience:D

I just feel like remembering today. I remember this one time I was a senior or Junior in College and I had this big final that was all about this book Aging with Grace. Oh man I tried so hard to get that book read and reread and the time came we finally got the questions we needed to answer a week before they were due. Man Something came up EVERYDAY that week. Baby Jake was sick and needed me at night, Daddy Jake was doing something else. We had ward Temple night, then Farm day for the ward and I decided to go ahead and do these things. Felt good about it. Anyways soooo finally I had the whole day with nothing to do and guess what day it was?? ..haha SUNDAY:D that is right. Would Mandy do her homework on the Sabbath? No way:D I wouldn't do it. The final which half my grade depended on was not even hardly started and it was due at 8am!!! how wild is that! Now I didn't just idle away the week I really tried to find time but it just wasn't there and I followed the spirit. Obviously the spirit wanted me to fail this semester right:D anyways so I kept the Sabbath day holy and got up early early 4am Monday morning to work on the paper. I hashed it out and turned it in and waited to hear my grade. I knew I had help. I got inspiration for the answers and felt good about it. Anyways so I GOT 100!!! 100 freaking percent on the hardest exam of the year!! I got the highest grade in the class!!
The moral of the story?? If you want to succeed in life listen to the spirit and serve when it doesn't make sense and Keep the Sabbath day holy:D Heavenly Father is eager to show us how AMAZING he is:D I will never doubt keeping that day sacred again. I know Ill be blessed if I ever keep it holy again:D hahaha. lol oh boy I have so much to learn.

Good morning Love

Love This!! make sure and visit the video on Youtube and subscribe and rate for Jake:D love you guys!! Jake is amazing!! and he wrote this song for us!!! AMAZING!! its the coolest feeling in the world when your husband makes you feel AMAZING!!:Dthankyou baby:D