MY CHARITY NOTES

Inspiration

2011-04-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

So I was reading the interview Stephanie Meyer did with Shannon Hall (both authors of some of my favorite books) and I came to the part where Stephenie talks about her dream and how she started writing and how she felt "compelled" to finish the story to find out how it ends. I got TOTALLY inspired and wondered what I am compelled to do like that and I realized sewing is a HUGE fun part of my life:D I can stay up all night just to sew a pair of pants or a new blankie for someone:D I LOVE the creating process.

SO Ive been sewing the last two days and writing too and decided my poor blog needed a post:D
So what gets you all riled up and excited for life?

My Goals for the rest of this month:D

2011-02-23T23:02:00.000-08:00

1. Go to the temple tomorrow
2. Clean my home
a. Have my children help me singing songs while we work:D
b. If possible get birds and small rodents to help too:D
c. keep up with the work(less facebook games)especially when im feeling better:D
3. Clean up my diet.
a. Eat more vegies
a. go buy vegies
b. Prepare vegies (cute them/cook them)...
b. Eat less sugar
a. Avoid obvious things like candy
b. eat square meals so my sugar levels are more even
c. drink more water
4. Read a 4hr work week.

My Talk

2011-01-28T19:15:00.000-08:00

Being raised in a home where the traditions of marriage and preisthood were absent,
I have an added gratitude for my mother and her faith and prayers. Her faith is what made me a woman of God. I know that in most cases children from single parent homes do not graduate from college and do not get married in the temple and do not acheive masters degrees like my sister.

And how are we supposed to live a NORMAL family life when we have
never really seen it in action? How am I supposed to know my role as a child or as a wife or as a mother when I saw only glimpses of what it was supposed to be.

However because my mother
worked to the bone and cried to the Lord every day and night and showed us by example how to be faithful women we (my sister and I) can walk in a path we do not know because we have her faith ground into our bones and we know that the Lord will show the way.

She has had to work harder than any woman or man ever should. Her efforts made
us whole when we should have been broken, But because she worked so hard I am more so grateful for the role I get to establish in my home as a Mother and as a wife:D.

Our roles are made to make life joyful and burdens lighter. When we fulfill our roles Life is SO much easier for Everyone. as it says in

Ecclesiastics
9 ¶aTwo are better than one; because they have a good breward for their labour.

10For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Though I cant say I suffered for not having a father because my mother was Super woman She did mightily suffer. How beautiful I feel when Jake eases my burden for a little while and takes the kids to play or rubs my shoulders or when he brings me chocolate milk or is there to just talk to me after a long day. How wonderful is it to have
a team mate:D

I bask in the Joy that fills my heart when my kids get to call the love of my eternal life Daddy. It always stung a little..... just a little when my friends would call out Daddy! No more though:D
I am so happy.

unbelieveably happy for one dear friend in particular Analee Christiensen:D I was with her one day when she got exasperated with her father because he was being just a tinny bit over protective:D At first I was thinking doesnt she know how AMAZING it is that she has this man trying to be there for her?

Doesnt she know?
I would give anything to have a father who really
truly loved me like that.

...and then I stepped back... I just smiled inside knowing that one day Bella would have that same tone of voice and that same attitude with her father:D

Analee
had that gift of Knowing Knowing Knowing that Daddy LOVED her no matter how hard she tried to make him see how grown she was:D

Daddy is a sacred roll in the home.

Sacred and
wonderful and beautiful.
How cool would it have been to have a father provide for our little family? How wonderful is it that you fathers here in this room get the opportunity to do so?

Oh How her burden would have been
lifted had a father stepped up to the plate and taken over his role as guardian, provider and protector.

Do you Fathers know how sacred your calling is? How your love and support anchors your family to Heaven with the preisthood? If you havent thought about it before think about it now and make a decision to be a little bit better a
little bit kinder and a little bit more grateful for what you have.

If you look at your Sons and want them to be respectable loving men You need to be a loving respectable man. If you see your daughters and want them to marry men who will honor their priesthood and Reverence womanhood then you need to be Honoring and reverencing so that they can see it and feel it and know How it is supposed to feel to be loved and cherished and in turn refuse to accept anything less.

Like I said I never suffered for not having a father
my mother made sure of it.
We had priesthood blessings from home teachers and daddy
daughter dates with the bishop and all kinds of experiences that gave us access to the power of God. In some ways I have faith to move mountains because I saw my mother do it and I KNOW its possible to make it through ANYTHING
as long as I put my trust where it belongs. I will be Forever Grateful for the love my Mother poured into us:D

Her hope and faith that one day I would have a better life made me all the more determined to make that happen too.

Ill admit that being a mother and wife was the farthest thing from my mind growing up. I was a tomb boy and I was determined to remain a tree climbing bike riding skateboard riding athlete:D

Being a mother has been something I have slowly grown into.

It has changed me in ways I never imagined possible. things are still
taking time to fill in. I think after 8 years I am catching up and realizing a few things I didnt know before...Like I said I never saw what a stay at home mom did day in and day out.

Ill never forget the moment at EFY when I realized I had NO IDEA how to be a wife and mother!!! I was FREAKED out!! cuz my Missionary was coming home in a few months and I didnt know how I would handle the role of wife...much less mother.

That day It was my job to teach about the roles of Wife and mother... I didnt think I had anything to offer these girls... I realized that day with the help
of those young girls and the other counselors there that I could make my home however I wanted it to be. I had seen different ways of managing a home here and there and I could take those examples and apply them to my home. When my mom did get to have some vacation time it was lovely to have her be home just for us:D and I wanted that for my kids:D

In that room with those girls I realized that I could do it:D
I knew Heavenly Father would Never leave me alone. He would lend me his strength and his wisdom where I had none. He has even softened my heart and made Motherhood my lifelong career choice.
Who would have thought:D

Motherhood is so revered in our Church and by our Heavenly Father. He will ALWAYS be beside us answering our prayers and lending us his arm. He also has our backs in our marriages as wives.

We as wives have a sacred responsibility to our husbands to be supportive and loving. We should show our love and gratitude for their efforts and celebrate their successes. and vice versa:D

Who should we emulate when we are thinking of our
roles as wives? Maybe Emma Smith. as
Susan Easton Black says:

Throughout her life as a wife, Emma experienced hardship, sorrow, persecution, and severe tests. Despite this,

she was faithful to the Lord’s invitation: “Let thy soul delight in thy husband, and the glory which shall come upon him” (D&C 25:14).

Emma’s responsibilities were many, and by comparison her weaknesses were few.

The lessons from the Lord’s revelations to Emma are clear: a wife is to cleave to her husband and comfort him,

serve in the Lord’s kingdom, and endure faithfully to the end.

Just prior to his death, the Prophet Joseph Smith invited Emma to write out a blessing that she would want from him.

She wrote in part, “I desire with all my heart to honor and respect my husband as my head,

ever to live in his confidence and by acting in unison with him, retain the place which God has given me by his side.” 7

Why did I marry Jake?

Because I LOVE him and I want him to be HAPPY:D I knew he would be
a wonderful Father and he was already a son that any mother would be proud of. I didnt marry him so that he could serve me though he does day in and day out:D
Sometimes it is tempting to get our weapons of war out and let them fall on our husbands because for some reason or other His shortcomings are obvious at the moment...but maybe we could be like the

Anti Lehi Nephites and chose to burry our weapons of war:D guilt trips, the cold shoulder, being easily offended. What ever your weapon of choice
having it burried in the the ground would not only help Him to prosper it will help us glimpse the men that God sees in them.

When we overlook imperfections and focus on the positive and magnify our callings as nurturers its amazing the difference it makes in the whole spirit of our homes and our Husbands. If I believe he is a great man how much easier is it for him to be a great man!! I need to lift him up and help him soar and my weapons only bring him heart ache and pain.

As mothers and Fathers together we are to rear our children so that they Know the Lord just as my Mother did

As Wives and Husbands it is imperative that we Love each other and work together to make home Heaven. So when we get to Heaven we wont have a hard time adjusting.

As children we must Honor and love our Parents all the days of our lives.

Christmas

2011-01-09T22:51:00.000-08:00

I was so excited about making pj pants for my kiddos :D and my three neices (Beths kiddos). It was so sad for me to see that the kids liked their toys WAYYYY better haha:D DUUUH HAHAH:D

But I learned something invaluable too:D
A. They will eventually appreciate the dang pants haha. and
B. Heavenly Father must be so excited about giving us things. And this is just such a personal question for me. How do I receive his gifts? How do I receive His Son? How do I recieve This life? This Very breath? Do I push meaningful things away without much thought or thanks?
C Heavenly Father TOTALLY wants us to be happy and Grateful and wanting what I have is the key:D I AM most definently Happy and excited for life and I notice it all the more when I am sitting here thinging about the wonderful things in my life:D

I love Tuti on Eat Pray Love:D Smile with your Liver :D smile with your toes lol:D Being Greatful is the cure all:D Being happy and receiving life with a smile and a warm gratitude is an amazing way to live:D
I dont expect the children to choose pjs over toys lol but It brought up some personal questions Ive been pondering for a while:D

Love Mandy:D

I cant Run faster than I can Run.

2011-01-08T10:59:00.000-08:00

FOr the last 7 years The majority of my Sundays have been spent loving the children. Every Sunday I give myself a little cheer for making it through the day:D
WOOOHOOOO:D We made it!!:D

Being the secratary for the last year or so has been a new challenge and fun:D An experience I encountered this last week reminded me how important it is to slow down. I cant run faster than I can run.

I was up again till 3 am working on primary things for the new year and I had that thought pop into my head. You cant run faster than you can and Heavenly Father will bless you if you go to bed. I did NOT procrastinate till the last minuet I had actually been working my ever shrinking sushie pretty hard for the last few months.

I didnt see how I would ever get this done.

I finally fell into bed with a prayer in my heart that Heavenly Father would help me out in the morning. After all You are the one who said we should go to bed early and all of that. :D maybe three am isnt early for most people but at that point in time haha it was for me:D

The morning arived waay to early and I got to work asap:D I was fumbling around really until. BAM!!!
there was an idea in my head and it seemed so simple! What would have taken me FOREVER!! took me 15-20 minuets and I had extra time to make them extra nice and they were next to perfection!!!

I know its not a big thing but at that time for me it meant the world to me. It was my miricle after I had seriously done all I could do. Heavenly Father doesnt expect us to run faster than we can. When He asks us for something he will never leave us hanging. THere will always be a way to get it done. ALWAYS and usually without pulling hair out or chomping nails to the bone:D

I took a leap of faith by going to bed and instead of long frustrating hours the next day I got to get all of my work done in the morning and then have a nice night with my Mom when I got her from the airport that afternoon:D WOOOOHOOOOO!!!! Made it again:D

Honeyville Farms:D

2010-12-18T17:06:00.000-08:00

So excited for this Give away!! Love food storage!!! If you want some yummie foodstorage this is the place to find it!!

A few notes

2010-03-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

Things Ive learned over the last few months.
1. Life is fragile.
2. Im a follower.
3. Praying for my children really helps me.
4. Heavenly Father has my back!
5. My brain is broken.
6. Trust and love dont necessarily co exist and that is TOTALLY okay.
7. The Lord really lightens my burdens ALL of the time.
8. if you dont use it you loose it, but if you used to use it all the time its easier to find it again:D
9. Kids grow up FAST like SONIC!
10. I am me and I actually like me:D I actually dont feel the need to defend myself and that is liberating. I think this comes from the awesomeness that 30 is right around the corner!! IM SOOOO EXCITED!! 30 is AWESOME!! 29 i dont know about its just a year of waiting till Im 30 in my mind. I better make it the year I prepare for 30!! Get in Shape:D Potty train Bella:D get Zion ready for school:D Jakey ready for Baptism!! Holy moly!

Faith!

2009-09-15T15:23:00.000-07:00

“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”

Patrick Overton

SO I might look at Hillary Clinton or Lady Gaga or Oprah and think WOW those are some powerful women. Women who can make a difference. Sometimes its so easy to forget my own power and the power in the women around me.
The power we as women of faith hold moves mountains everyday including mountains of laundry. But seriously when we are with the Lord He is with us and he provides for us He can help us run up hills, He opens up the roads for us, all of the money in the world is His and he can make it come from anywhere when we need it.
A few weeks ago we fasted and prayed for a new car. We prayed in faith and gave the worry and stress of it all to Heavenly Father and just had faith that it would work out. My friend Liz was here and she actually said the prayer. It felt good and I knew we would be taken care of. Well that Thursday before Liz left for Hawaii we were blessed with a new (to us) car. I wont boar with all the details but me and Jake were just over whelmed with gratitude. We were humbled and our faith grew miles that day!
It just fills me with hope and Power to know without a doubt that the Lord is watching over us. Now this Power is sooo not my own power but the power of God. Seriously I hope we can all embrace the joy and the power the Lord gives us when we are filled with faith:D

Happy Birthday Grandma:D

2009-09-13T11:49:00.001-07:00

My Grandma Sally turned 75 this year!!! Happy 75th Grandma!! I am so proud and excited to be your granddaughter! I remember the summer trips, the summer sausage sandwiches. I remember the clean house and the yummy friend chicken and mashed potatoes OH and the rolles:D Im still enjoying my relish and want some more jam:D I remember learning how to sew with your left over patches. You cheered me on at my soccer games and let me have a taste of the cookie dough:D You taught me by example how to be a powerful woman. How to embrace my roll as a wife and mother. You just did it and because of you Im learning how to too:D I love you Grandma and I cant wait to come visit you again:D and Grandpa too:D hehe:D but thats another story:D

Nat is Magic:D

2009-09-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

It is so rare that people come into your life and make magic happen. I have one or two friends that are like magic for me. They make me believe I can do what ever it is that is in my heart to do. They make me better, they make me stronger, they bring me closer to my Savior and they make me feel magical:D Im not saying these people are perfect they are just people who make it easier to let my light shine:D
Natalie Norton is one magical person I know:D You can seriously move mountains when its the right thing to do. You work so hard to be kind to your children and to teach them about the savior. I just really admire your passion for life. You have an amazing ability to SHINE:D and when you shine you make it so much easier for me to shine too:D Thankyou for lighting my candle:D
There are other magical people in my life Life Omi and Liz and the people right around me in my ward here in Utah:D

study questions for me to get more magical:D
Do I let my light shine?
Do I focus on the important things in life?(Family, fun, Savior, LOVE!!)
Do I make it easier for people to shine?
What kind of friend(wife, mother) am I?

creative writing

2009-05-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

Im a spirit Daughter of the most creative being in the universe. I am still just so inspired by this!! I have been trying to be creative by writing. I have decided to write my dreams down and I got one that I really kinda like even thought it was a night mare really. anyways Ive been adding things to it here and there but I dont know. This is the first part I like it:D it really was a night mare and i woke up when the light got me but it is really kinda dark:)

I had made it! I was finally free! I had evaded and maneuvered my whole life
and now I was walking up the grassy hill into the woods where I would be
safe. Safe from the bites. Safe from the stength and speed and wall
crawling people who lived in that building! I Escaped by the hair of my head
but no. it was all a lie. they let me go. I knew it was a lie because
there he stood blocking my way. The strongest and most evil of them all.
he was beautiful. He was death himself but oh he pleased the eye. His skin
breathed luxery, his face shone with the moonlight and his chin was covered
with a dark stubble. He was the picture of the perfrect man. His clothes were
tailored to fit his hard body. He reaked of money with his black cape
blowing in the wind along with his shoulder length locks of midnight.
His eyes were black and they were never ending pits of dispair, the
only thing that gave way to his sinister truth. He knew how to lure a woman
or a man from their safe harbor with his lies and deceit. I thought I had
finished. I thought I had survived but this moment after everything I
lived through I knew..now I would die. We did not speak but we both knew
this was the end. it was over. I would never see my family again. The sun
would never rise for me and warm my cool skin with its long yellow licks of
light. I would be lost soon forever in the pits of his demonic stare. I
would become one of them. Never to surface never to enjoy the wind in my
hair or the colors of spring. I would become a walking nitemare and there
was nothing I could do. Nothing but whisper one last prayer for help. One
last plea to my maker. In that moment as he reached out to touch my
face to take my soul and my body, my soul fell to her knees and wispered
to her maker one silent plea...please....so many emotions wraped up on one
tiny word and suddenly there was a light! i saw it I felt it and I was
gone! i was the light. I was safe. if I looked over my sholder his face
would be there again but no I wouldnt look I would not give my light. I
didnt know who or how or where I was but the darkness could not touch me.
Please. One word and I was safe on the wings of an angel. We were the light
together and there were others who were the light. He explained that I had
passed my trial. I would not give in even in the deepest dipair when
nothing was there but hell. I understood now.

P.S. I Love You!!

2009-03-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

Wow its been forever haha!! HI blog *hug* sorry ive neglected you!! So my life has been wild this last couple of months. I just felt like writing today even though I should probably go take a nap while all three are down i just cant caust I wanna write..k so Last night I was watching p.s. I love you and Of course I was laughing and crying through the whole movie. But I have been prompted lately to write down all the things I learn so this is the product of watching psiloveyou. A really really really really really good love story!! Oh man...k well so this is what love should be to me and all of these words represent what my love wants to be and is at times:D what is your love?
I also realize that I will have a Teenager living with me in a week!!! Azita is the cutest little girl:D I loved babysitting her when I was a kid/teenager. It wasnt that long ago that I was a teenager full of all kinds of conflicting emotions and thoughts. I remember being 18 very clearly because it was the best and worst time of my life. I was figuring out who the heck I was on my own and that was scary and exhilarating!! anyways here are a couple of pics of all three girls I used to babysit:D Azita is the oldest:D then polly and then Monica:D

k so thinking about Azita and all the things she has been through since I saw her last made me want to relive my child hood and i found some pics I thought i would upload from all over my life haha:D these are fun for me to relive:D anyways ill try to make it in order.
I was a total skater girl:D haha

oh Im so glad I never have to be a tween again!! though I had some fun:D

highschool was a total blast for me with sports and friends and beaches:Dmmmm

EFY counselor was my dream JOB!! now what do I do? Ive already done what I wanted to do with my life...hahaha!!! Ill just have to take over EFY someday:D hehe:D I loved those kids and My Fave person there was Analee:D wahooo:D

College:D weeeeehaaaw!! oh my goodness i had sooo much fun finding myself when Jake was gone for two years:D I dated and danced and had more fun than should be legal for a hard working college student:D

Home sweet home:D I barely remember this stuff:D all I remember is Jake getting off the plane and remembering why I loved him so much:D SUCH A HOTTIE!!

17 and in love

a happy little family:D

two little boys:D

all five of us playing!! Yaeee:D Im so Fappy:D Fat/happy:D hopefully in the next year I will be less fat and more Happy:D but hey I am what I am and life is pretty good hey:D

I am really really excited to go to Heaven and watch my movie:D hehe:D I had so much fun so far I cant wait to go and look at it again and laugh and cry and shake my head at myself:P haha:D anyways this was fun:D

Keep the Sabbath Day Holly a college experience:D

2009-01-15T11:07:00.000-08:00

I just feel like remembering today. I remember this one time I was a senior or Junior in College and I had this big final that was all about this book Aging with Grace. Oh man I tried so hard to get that book read and reread and the time came we finally got the questions we needed to answer a week before they were due. Man Something came up EVERYDAY that week. Baby Jake was sick and needed me at night, Daddy Jake was doing something else. We had ward Temple night, then Farm day for the ward and I decided to go ahead and do these things. Felt good about it. Anyways soooo finally I had the whole day with nothing to do and guess what day it was?? ..haha SUNDAY:D that is right. Would Mandy do her homework on the Sabbath? No way:D I wouldn't do it. The final which half my grade depended on was not even hardly started and it was due at 8am!!! how wild is that! Now I didn't just idle away the week I really tried to find time but it just wasn't there and I followed the spirit. Obviously the spirit wanted me to fail this semester right:D anyways so I kept the Sabbath day holy and got up early early 4am Monday morning to work on the paper. I hashed it out and turned it in and waited to hear my grade. I knew I had help. I got inspiration for the answers and felt good about it. Anyways so I GOT 100!!! 100 freaking percent on the hardest exam of the year!! I got the highest grade in the class!!
The moral of the story?? If you want to succeed in life listen to the spirit and serve when it doesn't make sense and Keep the Sabbath day holy:D Heavenly Father is eager to show us how AMAZING he is:D I will never doubt keeping that day sacred again. I know Ill be blessed if I ever keep it holy again:D hahaha. lol oh boy I have so much to learn.

Good morning Love

2009-01-08T18:38:00.000-08:00

Love This!! make sure and visit the video on Youtube and subscribe and rate for Jake:D love you guys!! Jake is amazing!! and he wrote this song for us!!! AMAZING!! its the coolest feeling in the world when your husband makes you feel AMAZING!!:Dthankyou baby:D

Celebrating ME!! (womanhood) Weeeeehaw!!

2009-01-07T21:35:00.000-08:00

This is a peice done by Jakes Mom. She is an artist too! I love her paintings and this really makes me feel peaceful and feminine.
SO I was watching Oprah today:D HAHA I wonder how many blogs or conversations open with that everyday. Anyways Oprah has been totally inspirational this week! Suzie Orman on tomorrow! cant wait. anyways sooo There was one mother in particular talking today about how she had lost herself and Oprah was all like Hey being a mother staying home to raise your kids is Gods Greatest Work!!! I was so touched because you know Oprah's respect for mothers was so profound at that moment it made me realize how freaking COOOOL I am:D I mean seriously we are sooooo hard on ourselves and get lost in the day to day things and forget to blog and we feel so bad about ourselves so often and im not even pretending like im alone anymore cauze I know there are so many girls out there who feel the same as me! Yaeee for the internet bringing us all together to lift eachother up. Digressing sorry...so I say on a good day I am half nice to myself and half not so nice. have you noticed how you work so hard on Christmas dinner or whatever dinner and everything is perfect but that one thing...(didnt Elder Uchtdorf talk about that at the Relief Society meeting?) anyways but maybe there isnt enough salt on the mashed potatoes and we feel the need to point it out? we do that to ourselves all day. Oh my bathrooom is clean but...my whole house was clean at one point today but now has passed back to the realm of mishEVIL!!haha or man I worked so hard today and got so much done but it doesnt really look like it. Anyways I feel like I'm over emphasizing the naughty and underemphasizing the goodness all the time. its like Im not quite good enough for me or something. I mean Jake is so easy to please, the kids love eachother. We are all healthy and happy. I need to knock it off and be nice to myself! I mean I would never say some of the things I say to me to anyone else. I mean seriously Mandy get a grip! Oprah thinks yer awesomeness!!! Elder Uchtdorf thinks yer awesomeness...you should really pat yourself on the back and say five nice things about yourself:D so whoever is reading this I'm tagging you!!

Tag yer it:D say five nice things about yourself Ill start:D this is my campaign to get my friends to feel great about being a women no matter what stage we are in today!! Let your light shine!! No hiding:D We all need to see eachothers lights so we can shine even brighter together!! ready set ...GO!

1. I think Im hilarious!
2. I am getting better at being a mommy everyday. (cleaning cooking sewing giving the look:D kissing booboos)
3. I try to have a clean house. It might get messy but its clean...
4. Im getting better at taking time out for me. For example: Last night Jake got home I fed my family and then was on the verge of melting down and said hey I think I need some time and let Jake handle the noise as I plugged in my earplugs and took a bath:D Yaeee for me for taking a minuet when I needed one!! (you know whats funny Im trying so hard not to feel guilty as I write this haha...how ridiculous! Jake loves chilling with the kids so its not like im torching him for an hour while I take a much needed break..plus Ill smell better when he kisses me next right:D)
5. I laughed with my kids today!

cheers to our awesomeness as mothers wives sisters grandmothers friends and cool chicks
ps if you do take time to do this please leave a comment!!!

Homeless!

2008-12-13T19:55:00.000-08:00

K Im gunna try that again as soon as I figure out what happened. sorry!!

Coolest Weekend EVER!

2008-12-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

Hi Blog:D its been forever!! well I have sooooo much to blog about but I wanted to write one down for sure so I wont forget how I felt.

So Nov.21..the release of Twilight!! LOVED IT! waited forever checked my TMs everyday and the lex too:D and read up on the actors and all that fun jazz and I got to go to the midnight viewing with Heather!! Thanks Heather!! THEEEN I got to go again with Kandi and Heather and Chelsea to the TMs event at the district and Oh my that was sooo much fun. Kinda emberassing at one point when I thought Camile had won a real live Volvo and it turned out to be a little toy car..HAHAHAHAHAH that is something I will remember forever. I was sooo freaking excited for her!! oh my gosh!! Anyways so Ran to the railing to yell down stairs that she had won...went back to her and found out it was just a toy..then went back to the railling and yelled just a toy car...hahah anyways its a fun memory for us all to laugh about:D soooo I LOVED the movie and loved being with my cool gal pals even better.

Saturday night I got to go to the coldplay concert. me and Jake cought the tracks down there and had so much fun flirting and playing on the train..haha then the show was AMAZING!!! Ive never imagined a show could be sooo cool!! WOW the lights the energy and fun that was all over the place that night! Oh what a high!! LOVED IT! thanks to Heather and Casey for hooking it up for Jake and me!! IT was seriously the coolest show ever. better even than Jack. though its like comparing apples and oranges:D kinda

Sunday comes around and I get to teach my five year olds:D Me and Chelsea share a class. So fun. Anyways for like a minuet durring the class I had their attention! That is amazing for all eyes to be on me and I knew the spirit was here and that they could feel it and I could feel it and we all grew in that one minuet. Its so rare that that happens I just am amazed by it. When little people learn with me. That my friends was the best minuet of my weekend. We were talking about the Savior and the Resurection and I was bearing testimony of it. And I knew it and I just felt the spirit sooooo strong. There is no movie or concert in the world that will leave you feeling more alive or more amazed than the feeling of knowing that the Savior is real ant that He Lives for me and for you! amazing!!

On this hang all the Laws and Prophets

2008-11-23T07:10:00.000-08:00

Matt 22:36-40
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

I just dont know what to add to this:D loving eachother means forgiving eachother when we make mistakes or say the wrong things(which happens to me all the time!!! like yesterday I have no idea what I was talking about at enrichment lol..hope you guys forgive me if I said something totally off base. im usually trying to make people laugh and go a little overboard with weird stuff. so anyways I really need forgiveness a lot for that so you guys have to forgive me cuz its a commandment and because you love me:D hehe). Okay moving on. So when we love we have no room for hate or jelousy. We get excited when others succeed. We make allowances for people who might have offended us because we know who they are. We all are children of Heavenly Father and if we love him we would never hurt eachother by steeling, lying, killing and so on and if we love Heavenly Father we will pay tithing and pray and worship no other and keep the sabath day holy.

Now of course none are perfect in love in this life all the time. But we can work on it. I know that if I study the scriptures and pray and focus on love and treating people the way the Savior would treat me in this situation then I really do fill up with the love in my heart. I really am forgiving and I really am happy for others!!. The whole world would be such a sweeter place if we would just love a little more. Love is seriously addictive. Its a sweet feeling and nothing feels better than feeling the spirit. No drug no car no grudge can make us feel so high and so complete and so good inside. Once we taste love we will always want more!! When we are in a hurry and all stressed out if we stop moving and rushing and take time to be kind to our children or spouse we feel so much better...anyways I know I do.

So much has happened this week that im gunna blog about in my family blog. This is what I read and thought about last night. How nice a place this world would be if we all knew and loved eachother as we should:D I feel so loved and wonderful for the most part in my ward and in my family. I cannot wait for the world to be bursting at the seems with love!!

More on Forgiveness

2008-10-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

Well Ive been researching my Forgiveness topic and I totally realize that I have some forgiving to do. Here is a great quote I found on Lds.org

Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships: “Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds.

This reminds me of how I feel:D...free:D hehehe
Saying I forgive you does not mean that what someone did is okay. It just means Im ready to let go and move on. Im ready to use my energy for good. Im ready to heal. I can say I forgive you to my father even though he hasn't asked for it. I can say it and mean it. That doesn't mean I am letting him back into my life or that all his inactivity in my life was okay it just means Im letting go and wishing him well. Does that make sense? Its something Ive really really struggled with. I had a really good talk with my sister this weekend (I love you Bell thankyou:) and I just realize that you know what I'm not the only one who can't deal with him...thats okay. It is alright for me not to deal with my Father. It kinda makes me sad that I cant just dig deep and find the charity I need to be a part of his life but I am so not feeling guilty for that right now or ashamed. I feel empowered. It sounds really harsh to me in my head but I really feel strong and healthy now that Ive closed that book. I have to laugh and think is that really really okay? because he is lonely he is sick and he has brain damage. Shouldnt I dig deep and let him in? My answer has to be no. Maybe its no for now but I cant let the drama of my sperm doner because that is essnetially what he is...thankyou dad for giving my Mom a chance to give birth to me. Thankyou for paying your child support and thankyou for staying away for so long. You know in saying I forgive I am also saying goodbye. Maybe we can be friends in Heaven:D..but right now I have to do what is best for me and my family. It is saying goodbye to my dad's mother as well. That is a difficult thing for me too. I mean she is sposed to be my grandma and im sposed to take care of her...but im not...and I feel sooo comforted about that. It really makes no sense to my logic...but my heart says its the right thing for me...anyways I hope this helps other people some day when im giving talks all around the world. WAHOOOOO:D
So I forgive my dad. I am so glad I got to talk to Beth and im really excited to use this new energy I have for love and fun and my children:D...K Im off to clean my house!!!

New Talk Im working on I need your sugestions!

2008-10-14T20:46:00.000-07:00

1. Loose spiritual weight..repentance

2. Build spiritual muscle...consistent study and prayer...

3. Flexing your spiritual muscles.:D...mission...finding other things that bring joy

K so here is a loose outline...Im really excited to get started writing talks and stuff..you know finding my passion!! so I would love your input and ideas:D

I was a weight lifter in Highschool...weird I know...(these are the only pics I could find of highschool ageness lol thought yall might wanna see me in younger buffness...HAHAH) but so many things went into being a good lifter...I did all kinds of sports and over the four years of high school my body totally transformed and I thought wow that is sooo like repentance. If we work on our spiritual fitness everyday and keep at it eventually we will be changed on the inside. So first you have to get rid of the spiritual baggage or weight...through repentance and then you start working on building muscles...you can actually do both at the same time..some people like me have all kinds of weight everywhere plus big muscles under neath...its no fun though if you cant see the muscles...hahaha...k so anyways so being spiritually fit actually helps you be physically fit too!! its funy how when im on a spiritual high I clear out clutter in my house and I totally feel like working out...anyways soooo...then comes the finale...when I was in high school I totally with the other lifter girls flexed in front of the whole school!!! sounds weird but it was a really big accomplishment for us...we were the first and last girls to ever do it but it felt really good and it showed other girls that hey I can work out too and change my body too...haha..anyways so I have a lot of work to do to make it work but I would love some feed back here. What do you think...how can I organize it better and do you have personal stories that you wouldn't mind me sharing?(who knows with who..lol maybe just my bathroom mirror:D) I know Im not the fittest person around..lol...but Im totally working on it and I know one day at a time just like with repentance gets me closer to my goal:D...k so wahoooo..i feel energized now :D...yaeeee!!! thats how being passionate is sposed to work:D..now I wanna go run a mile:D...hehehe...

characteristics of Charity

2008-10-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

Here are some characteristics of Charity in my own eyes. I wanna be like this:D

and Mandy:
suffereth long = being of good cheer even when things are just hard

is kind = loves those around her even when things are hard for them.

is happy for others= I succeed when you succeed!!

is humble = I cant do this alone..i need help

seeks for the welfare of others = i'm serving my children and husband and making sure they get what is most important and trying to do my visiting teaching.

rejoiceth in the truth= it feels so great to hear someones testimony

Beareth all things = children:D I ve born three:D

believeth all things = Just cuz I dont understand it dosn't mean its not true

hopeth all things = oh where to start. So hope for eternal life one day!! that is the ultimate goal after all:D

endureth all things = I can do poopie diapers and ramen noodles

is meek= speaking in a kind voice

is lowly in heart = I know Im nothing without Him.

confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ

is becoming the pure love of Christ

endureth forever= the ultimate goal again:D

Scripture of the day.
Moro. 7: 1, 44-47

1 And now I, Moroni, write a few of the words of my father Mormon, which he spake concerning faith, hope, and charity; for after this manner did he speak unto the people, as he taught them in the synagogue which they had built for the place of worship.
• • •
44 If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.
45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Finding my Passion!!

2008-09-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

So the last few weeks were a big trial for me..but I think it was totally necessary! Ive learned so much in just the last few days. I was at rock bottom on Friday...kinda...im sure my life is wonderful and great and im so blessed it was just a super duper hard day for me. Ive been dealing with change...something that has always been hard for me. Jake gone and me in charge of my life with nothing to look forward to. I think Irealized this when I was doing one of those emails that you answer all the questions in the world about what you ate and one of the questions was what dates are you looking forward to? I couldnt think of anything. There are a few that I pulled out of the air that I should be looking forward to but the point was that I had no goals. No reason to wake up in the morning you know. I mean my kids are beautiful. My Husband is beautiful. I wake up for them every day and that should be enough...but I was drowning cuz I didnt know where I was going. does that make sense? There has been nothing really for me. I support Jake in his career and I support my Jakey boy's drawing and his school and I change diapers all day and get excited for their milestones...but where are my milestones? I realized that I was stagnant and getting all rotten and weird and lame...I felt like the biggest wuss but then here comes an old friend..well a few friends actually helped me. First My Mommy who is always there for me has some wise words and she talked to my G-ma and then talked to me again and then I talked to Gma..haha.
Then I had a night out with a good friend H.P. and then I talked to Jake and then the next day though on an upward climb I was still stressed and a friend Tori called me. I was so so close to not answering cuz i was being anti social..haha. But something told me to so I did and she took one of the big stresses off my sholders by offering some girl clothes for my Bella girl:D and then she reminded me about Womens confrence that night!! I was soooo excited!! I knew it was Heavenly Father answering my prayers. Thanks Tori!! again!! Oh man it was such a gift...so I went to Womens confrence and was so inspired to create and to raise the bar for service. The more we give the more we are blessed. I think that is an eternal law...like Karma you know...what you put out there comes back...So I felt totally inspired and then Mindy and the girls invited me out to ice cream and we ended up having a BLAST!! I soooo needed my girls that night and they were so there!!! man to just be with fun positive people is really the best healing balm..haha. I got to play!!! man gotta love the wild girls:D..wild mamas:D..haha..anyways not to mention that we were going in the coolest car ever!!:D.. doesn't get any better than that!!
So you would think Heavnly Father would say k now knock it off and get back to life..haha but nope. He was sooo not finished and still isnt...but I digress...My old friend from Early TVA days came to see me! She and her husband are such inspirational people. It felt relly good to sit down and talk and I learned so so much. She is a photographer...not just any photographer she has worked to get her name out there to be one of the best..and she is. Anyways not so long ago she was like me...no goals nothing to drive her to success besides mother hood. which is totally rad in its own right but sometimes there needs to be something just for us. She told me her story about how she got started and I was so inspired. If she can do what she loves and be a young mom then why cant I? I can go learn things about my passion and get started putting myself out there. I really really want to be an inspirational speaker...it makes me smile and all giddy just to say that out loud to the world... I WANNA BE AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEAKER!! YES!! and I can totally do that and become the best in my world!! Yaeeee!! so since talking to her and talking to everyone and playing and learning I felt so so so much better about life...still Heavenly Father was not done...I got to go to R.S. and learn so much from the lesson from Danci!! I know what I want to do now I gotta figure how to get there. While sitting waiting to talk to Bishop after church I saw this really awesome sign...You want to be a Seminary Teacher?? YESSS!!! anyways so now I want to go to school to be an AMAZING Seminary teacher!!
Anyways so this post is super long but I wanted to get all in there the million ways Heavenly Father helped me dojavascript:void(0) a one eighty and feel on top of the world in just three days!! I mentioned a few things but there was so much more like getting closer to Jake...midnight conversations and my grandparents deciding to come visit me!! dude ...I feel feel feel the love pouring out from Heavenly Father and I am so so so Greatful!! thankyou to everyone for being my angels this weekend which is actually gunna go down as one of my fav weekends of all time!!! wahooooo!!! The big guy upstairs is the coolest!!
Cant wait to see what happens this week!! Im so excited!!!

widdows mite...Im enough!!!

2008-09-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

So I had Joy school to do the next morning but I kept feeling impressed to read my lesson for church (sunbeams) I was like that is very out of order:D anyways so I gave in and finally read my lesson for church first and I totally got inspired by the story about the widows mite. She gave everything she had and it was enough.

Basically Heavenly Father wants us to give what WE have. He doesnt expect me to give what Oprah has:D..lol... I have only so much to give and that is okay. I dont have to feel bad for not giving more than I have. does that make sense. I come down hard on myself for my weaknesses like most of us do but I just felt so much better for reading that and the next day at Joy school I wasnt all apologizing all day for being inadequate cuz I know in Heavenly Fathers eyes I am enough:D...how cool is that!! Im enough!! Yaeeee!!

Joy School!!

K im updating here. I moved a couple of posts to our other bog...just cuz I thought they were cooler there:D..i never blog over there so why not...

so Joy school has been really fun. Its just a group of moms who buy the program and follow it with our todlers and preschoolers. so far its been really fun. I am getting to know some great mothers. Liana..my sisterinlaw and Marie..lianas sisterinlaw:D and our cousin Luana..who happens to be my friend from Highschool days. SOOO COOOL!! so its been a joy to get to know the kiddos and get motivated and into that teaching mode. Im so excited for zion and bella to be influenced by these Freaking Amazing women!! love it!!

Jakes New Job

Look at what my baby did!!! so we always tell the kids they are'nt allowed to draw on the car...HAHAH but dang...Jake has taken it to a whole new level. I have two artists in my home at the moment and its been such joy to fill my home with art and drawings and music of all kinds. Me and the kids miss daddy a lot cuz he is gone a lot more now. It has been sooooooo soooo sooooooooo COOOL! to see Jake so passionate about his day job:D...its never been so fun for him to work:D...the eager shine in his eye when he gets ready to leave and his energy level when he gets home has been like a 180!! its such a gift!! yea for graphic designing:D
I realized today that we have been crabby at eachother a lot...its soooo weird cuz I reallly reallly miss him and then when he comes home I'm mad at him cuz he was gone all day..HAHA believe it or not this is the first job that has taken him away for most of our waking hours. Hes always worked nights or mornings so this is weird for me really having to be a mom alone with the kids all day. Its hard but totally cool cuz i get to run the show and i get a lot done and I'm learning all kinds of new things...its great. I just miss my big snoring tedy bear:D...HAHA
I always get mad at things that i dont understand till like a month later...like when my sister went to college I would be so mean to her when I would see her and I wouldn't talk to her, we finally realized I was mad at her for leaving...HAHAHA anyways so you would think we would savor the moments we have together.
Its nice that im getting to know myself right so I cought it before it was too long...just two days...but anyways so today I said "hey...we don't have much time together right? So lets spend what little time we have loving eachother instead of arguing." Right away we had such a different atmosphere in the house....Yaee for the holy ghost knowing me better than I do and Yaee for following His promtings and yaeee for sweet kisses before Jake takes off for work!
K I know this was super long and confusing haha but I had to write it down so I remember.:D

One more fun thing that happened today!! Potty training is on hold indefinitely..HAHAHA Soooo Zion is such a fun boy I just cant get enough of him ...usually...;D anyways sooo today as usual I was letting him run around neked so he would go potty on the potty. For about a week this has been the way to go...ive been waiting and waiting for him to go pooh on the potty he usually waits till i get the diaper on him for bed time or to go out...anyways today no waiting...he ran up to me and said i wen popo on groun...i wen popo on goun.... I was like hh? what are you saying then I got up to see and sure enough there was the long awaited poo all over in little plops...a little here a little there all down the hall way....AAAAAAAHHHHHH so he is not ready and im not ready for more of that soooooo im just gunna wait till he is big enough to understand that that is nasty and mommy doesnt like cleaning that up and stuff instead of him being excited about it:D HAHAHA love the children despise the poooh...HAHHA just kidding...k thats it for that day:D...i was inspired by Tori:D

Good Cheer

2008-08-28T14:54:00.000-07:00

D&C 78
17 Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;
18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eeternity are yours.
19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.

So I think I have already blogged about this scripture but it really is my fave and I need it again so here I go:D...
I was reading the Joseph Smith manual today and came accross a chapter about being of good cheer. You all know the story about when Joseph was being held in a log cabin and all the bad guys were saying horrible things and Joseph had to rebuke them and he did so with Authority. Anyways he was in pretty crappy circumstances but in his letter home to Emma he wrote something along the lines of ... we are blessed to be considered worthy enough to be persecuted for the cause of Jesus. WOW!! now that is being of good cheer.
So everyone has trials and tribulations. I am having my own right now and Im really finding comfort in Josephs example. Emmas too ..after I read the manual I read the new Ensign. Holy crap the things those two went through. I feel super ungrateful for even complaining about my comparitively small problems. It just gave me some new perspective. If me and Jake love eachother we can make it through anything. I also realize that Heavenly Father totally has a plan here and I need to show a little faith!!
Yaee Faith ... Yaee Love and Yae trials that teach us more about Faith love and ourselves!!! Yaeee Zion making big messes cuz it makes for cute pics HUH!!

one quote I love from Vickey Pankey!

"Just because everything around you is rotten doesnt mean you have to be rotten"

Awkward

2008-08-17T07:46:00.000-07:00

K lots of times especially around people I look up to or am just getting to know I get sooooo awkward. Does anyone else do this. I say the weirdest things and cant make myself stop! I feel really stupid later...ummm except when im feeling the love...LOL..and I think people might get to wrong impression of me. Sometimes I wish I could let people see into my head so they know im not really this way its just that my mouth says things before my all wise mind can stop it...

When I just get out of my head and let myself love people instead of worrying about how lame I am...haha...I do so much better and I think they feel a lot better too. I have some super cool people that I really would like to get to know. Anyways so today when I was looking for a scripture to use. I read the Charity envieth not part in this 1Corinthian verse

CORINTHIANS
CHAPTER 13
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.

and I wonder if maybe im not a little bit jealous of these people and that is why I have a hard time cuz you cant feel the love when you are J even if you really really respect the people. That sounds silly. Even if its just a tiny tiny bit its still a hinderance to the spirit of love. Its always good to have insight into your own weirdness hahah...
So from now on when I talk to cool people im just gunna try to go outside of myself and feel the love instead of the awkwardness. Love love love... Im not sure if its jelousy but I do know that Charity will fix it:D...I am soooo much more fun when im not worried about myself. Its kinda selfish to be awkward...HAHA. sooo my mission today is to love and to think love before i say anything:D. Yaeee!!

ps a friend of ours took this pic...it totally makes me feel the love and when I talk to people im impressed with im gunna think of the sky:D

Power in love

2008-08-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

The world thinks that power comes from fear. If people fear the mob or the bully they will give them money and bow to their sick wims. God is not a God of Fear. He is a god of love. In RS today we talked about missionary work and about how we fear sharing the gospel. this scripture came up and I LOVE it!!

2 Tim. 1: 7
7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

I felt myself be filled by the power all the way down to my finger tips and all the way into my deeptest guts:D. When we love something we are bound to it. We will do anything for it. We will sacrifice and sacrifice willingly and gladly. I am reminded right now of Satins plan. To force us into righteousness. That would have cheated Heavenly Father out of our love. He wants us to Love him and to feel bound to him not by fear or by force (both far inferior) but by love. Love is POWERFUL!! That is why motherhood is so freaking awesome! We love with a love that is so strong so sound that it is a physical compulsion to sacrifice for our children. If Satan can get his hands on mothers then he can get his hands on the most powerful force on earth. We as mothers have to be strong. We have to teach our children to love and to be righteous. The way to do that is by love. Ive seen over and over kids forced into keeping the rules. Just biding their time till they can be free and then making horrible choices then. Man if only they had been given choices earlier to learn how it feels to make mistakes and to feel the joy of repentance or reap the benefits of their early wise choices. Nobody wants to be forced into things. I feel like im rambling now but it really does feel amazing when your kids do what you ask because they love you and not because they fear you. I can feel the power in love and I am claiming it for my kids and for my family and friends. I promise to love as much as I can when ever I can!! I want to glorify God!! what a wise awesome beautiful plan he has for us. I feel like I learned something new about love today. Im really greatful for this blog:D...im learning so much!

mmmmmlooovee:D...thanks Lindsay for the quote!!!

2008-07-19T00:13:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine sent me this aweswome Quote and it hits Charity right on the head:D haha that sounds funny. Its the perfect quote for this blog:D Thankyou Lindsay P.:D Shes just a rad person and mother.

"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other" - Marvin J. Ashton

Oh the wisdom in having Charity. The world will be so nice when we are all filled with this kind of love:D. Cant wait. We are all working on it now in our own ways. Praying for it...listening for the promptings...studying and so on but wont it be so nice when we dont have the temptations anymore when we have finally all been filled with this kind of accepting unconditional rational love:D..so I know you love me and you know I love you and we all just SEE eachother:D...sometimes I think really seeing someone is the same as loving them. To see and know they are daughters and sons of the same guy we are a daughter or son of. Seriously if we all saw eachother I think we would be a lot nicer:D...lol...Oh boy...it will be so nice right. I know I feel like that some of the time and im not saying i dont want to work on it im just saying im gunna bask in the the glory baby...bask.:D..mmmmmmglory...mmmmmmmlove....mmmmmcheetoes...huh? hahah ...love Mandy

Above All Things

2008-07-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

I can move a mountain but if I dont have charity all the faith in the world means nothing. I love how the two commandments are both about Love. Love God and love your neighbor. If I put love above all things then everything else will fall into place. I wonder though. If you need faith and hope and meekness and lowlines of heart to have Charity and the only way to go about getting it is by searching out these things or can you pray for it and have it. I think there are moments where I have felt real charity. and it was beautiful. It is a constant struggle to keep that frame of mind. To put love above irritation with my kids. To put love above my pride. To see someone or a situation that i dont agree with in the light of love. It is not easy but...its seems that when I am full of love it is easy. K does that even make sense? its like running I think kinda. Like when you have eaten the right foods and practiced and drank enough it is easier to run the race. hmm dont know just kinda thinking out loud here. maybe its more like ooooh i dont know...haha. i have a crying zion here:D...gotta run.

scooter:D

2008-07-10T15:06:00.000-07:00

Bella is officially schooting:D..holy smokes!! she is four and a half months here. Isnt that a little early?? anyways im excited to say she is going to be just as adventerous as her big bro Zion:D..jakey is sucha mello kid:D..so glad i got him first:D hehe. anyways ive been in a rut and my little munchkids really help me through my days:D

Loving Life

2008-06-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you and on the verge of something big and you cant stand it? Jake has been doing music now for a few years. He made his first Bubble Gum album in like 2003 right after Jakey was born. It was fun with good songs but really bad recording. The next album he made called The Sample he made in 2006 after he had this slew of writing amd composing and recording and just had to make it a physical thing. He sold em at his big art show/concert and thought that would be all. His dream was to be on Itunes with his hero Jack:D...The Sample was and is miles above Bubble Gum in sound and quality and he recorded it in our little TVA apartment. So he graduated and came to Utah and finds this cool site ...Sellaband and loads his music...within a couple of months. his friends there got enough requests through to Itunes that wala...dream one came true:D...now what? a dream bigger to make an album with pro studio and pro producers and pro everything....fourmonths on Sellaband and 50k later her has his dream #2...now what? dream bigger play a big show it his home town...dream come true #3...nowwhat. A big tour? dude there is so much out there. there is enough room for everyone to make music:D...anyways so he has been taking it one step at a time a little here and a little there but holy crap if I look back at the last five years its amazing how everyone one of Jakes dreams has come true. I keep telling him he needs to dream bigger..>HAHAHAHA. anyways so we have sacrificed a lot so he could do this...like independace and stability and food...hahaha but we are so blessed and feel like we are really on the right road here. We went through a really really desperate time and I kept reading scriptures and the one that pops out is the one where Joseph Smith is in prison and he is all ...how long are you gunna let people get away with this and then HF is all this is all for a reason and endure it well and you will be blessed and its only gunna seem like a moment. So now we are feeling a ton better and doing a tone better with cash and stuff...I hope that that was the moment and I feel like we endured it well. So what is cool about the spirit is that even when you are in your deepest darkest moments its amazing cuz you still feel peace. I wonder if that is what Obinidi felt when he was getting ready to give his life for his beliefs...anyways back to the topic...I feel like something big is on the way...its a new excitment that keeps getting bigger and bigger and its driving me insane...HAHAHA.
When Jake was getting ready for his mission we went through this really hard time and I was completely confused and didnt know what to do but I was really greatful for the experience and knew that Heavenly Father was with us cuz I read this scripture...
17 Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;
D&C 78
18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.

When I read this I just realized that I needed to have faith that everything would work out. I had no idea how but I trusted HF and a few years later I looked back at that scripture and realized WOW!! I really am blessed now. I married him and we have a pretty baby and what was interesting is that if I had known that I was going to marrie him before he left for two years I would have really resented him..HAHAH. I wouldnt have been able to date or experience life the way you should when you are on your own the first time in college...so i was really greatful for the perspective and for the chance to just be me for a couple of years. When he came home I was ready!! I had lived a ful two years serving my own mission in a way...EFY and PCC and having all kinds of fun and in no way did I regret marrying him and no way did I realize that we would be so happy and all the blessings we would get and so on you know.
SO recently Ive been pondering things again and over and over this scripture keeps popping up. Its my fav now and I have it memorized and I just cant imagine where we are going but once again Im putting my faith and trust in HF and I know its gunna be better than I ever dreamded:D. so Cool. Im for sure greatful for the struggle it has really given us perspective and experience and we are better people for it...I feel sooo excited and happy. Everytime I ask what I should pray for I hear Success:D.. so pray with me everyone for success for Jake for his music (which is what has chosen him and he has chosen for now:D I just feel so happy when I think about it. anyways so long post. all my kids are crying so i gotta go but yaee:) Glad I got that down...HAHA

barf and feavers

2008-06-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

Well back from Wyoming for a week or so now and things are good. My poor baby though has a cold and a feaver. I dont think there is any more helpless feeling sometimes. I Think that if being a mom dosnt get us into heaven then I dont know what will. We are streached and pulled to our limits and then when we think we can go anymore we do. Its just that crazy or simple. We will do anything for our babies. What a powerful thing love can be. We would take the pain in an instant rather than see our babies suffer. We would gladly die for them. We loose years off our life from the years of no sleep and the years of breastfeeding and the years of being pregnant. Its the same thing right...haha. It LOOKS like we have given years. Then we see the super stars who look like twigs and no streach marks and perky boobies. Is that really possible...hahaha. well I kinda like my streach marks. They say I had a baby and I worked hard for it and I love her or him enough that I gave my sexiness for it...HAHAHA. the ultimate sacrifice these days right. Our bodies...hahah. Oh anyways I just wanted to post and say what a wonderful powerful emotion love can be...its seriously bigger than us and can fill us up when we are so tired there is no way you can feed one more kid or change one more diaper or play one more game. Somehow we can and its all because of love...

Singin me to sleep:D

2008-06-07T08:21:00.000-07:00

I usually feel so happy and greatful for my Husband and his talents and how he puts the boys to sleep with his music at night. It used to be just me he would sing to sleep but oh how I love hearing his soft voice traveling from the boys room.
I feel almost overwhelmed by his gorgeous voice. How can this voice be singing to my babies? It is the best sound in the world!!! Jake sang me to sleep the other night and Oh (melt) what a beautiful night it was:D...I feel overly blessed in my life and this is one of the coolest blessings I have:D...thankyou Heavenly Father:D...

The Green Monster and some other stuff.

2008-05-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

Oh what a weird week Ive had. I was so excited for Jake to go to Hawaii and do his thing...but when he left and called me when he got there I had a really hard time even talking to him cuz I was so FREAKING JELOUS!!! haha. well I had a good cry and the jelous thing lasted about a day and then I got excited again. I really dont want to feel that way but it just happens sometimes you know. Its easy to get over though when I start counting my blessings and realzing that I actually chose to stay home. We totally could have pulled off the whole famiy going. We would have been in debt and broke for a long time but still maybe it would have been worth it...what is money copared to experiences. Well having a roof over our heads is nice but really who cares when we could be in hawaii right now with Jake and get to see his dream come true of playing in front of his home crowd. Oh it makes me sad that we are missing that. I think we made the mature decision...Im just wishing I could somehow teleport over there:). I feel like a lot of the time I do a lot of the behind the scenes work with jake especially with the kids and its hard to not get to be there for the fun stuff like HEADLINING at BYUH!!! How cool would it be to see your true love live his dream!!! anyways he is dreaming bigger and bigger these days so that is really fun. We will see where the music world takes us next:) this has been a really cool ride. I love seeing jakes confidence these days. Anyways there are all kinds of things in the works. You know when it comes down to it though and the J stuff wears off I am soooo amazingly happy and exctied for Jake. I get butter flies in my tummy and I root for him and I pray and reach out to the heavens for his success and happiness tons and tons. I miss him but I really feel like I am there with him living it. I am really greatful for this feeling and I know where it comes from. Heavenly Father is totally hooking me up with love and peace and joy and CHARITY. I think charity is like a drug. I read this book Twilight recently...(totally obsessed with it now by the way.) and this Vampire is in love with a girl whose blood is his brand of heroin and he is a heroin (blood) addict. Anyways I think Charity is my brand of Heroin. Once you taste it yer hooked. Okay that is a really really bad example...HAHAHA.. ill leave it there just so I can laugh at myself but really Charity feels so much better than any drug or any thrill ride. Its so over whelming and there are so many good things that come from it. The only thing is that we have to work for it. I could wallow in my Jolly green giantness however I chose to be happy and Heavenly Father totally blesses us ten fold or even more when we make choices like that. I feel (words cant express but ill try anyways) right now just thrilled and overwhelmed like im gunna explode cuz im sooooo freaking amazingly happy and excited for life. I feel like I just ran a merathon and my endorphines are kicking in. I dont feel as amazing as I did after giving birth but kinda close to that. I feel happy.
I started feeling happy (besides my bouts of j:D after RS last week. I felt like my cup was full. I got to talk to amazing women and hang out and eat some cool wheat stuff and I had a ball. I think I need to show myself more love and do more things with the ladies because I was so nice and so happy and so easy to be with after that. HAHA> thats funny. If im happy my family will be happy too.

Anyways so happy Hawaii for Jake and Happy rainy days in Montana for me. I feel like Im in Hawaii cuz its so green and rainy and Im just happy.:D reminds me of how i felt there:D

"Light"

2008-05-14T11:28:00.000-07:00

K so Im looking over my notes from woments confrence in 06' such a good confrence. Anyways I came accross this talk by someone named Campbell on 6 Truths for the Journey on becoming a "wise Woman". SO I took notes in my own way and I only have three poins but lots of good stuff so i wanted to write down what I got out of it:) sooooo coool:)
They (Campell..not sure it its a boy or girl but asume its a woman) talked a lot about the light of Christ and how we all are born with this light. Its an inate part of us this light. Isnt that cool we all come from an eternal being full of light and it only makes sence that we are beings of light too. So light=God=Love right. :)
1.I am full of Light. It is eternal all of us everyone ...everyone...has it
2. All commandmets are encompassed in the verb "to love" its simple and beautiful...I love you so I wont steel lie cheat or what ever it is I wont do it to you because I love you. I wont do those things either because I love God. If we are full of love we cannot break the commandments because it would go against our very nature which has been changed because we have worked so hard to learn about and be like Jesus that we are now more like him than we ever have been before and now we are always filled with his love and that is the key to everything. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Okay this is my favorite part right here.
The light of Christ in me embraces the light in you. The Power of God in me Recognized the power in you.
So some of you might know me as cheery and bubbly and full of fun love stuff. I really am happy when I am that way but sometimes I feel like I need to tone it down because it makes people uncomfortable sometimes or it annoys people ...same thing. what ever...hahha. anywyas so this right here means to me that when I am shining it will help the people around me shine. Including my family. !!! WOW that was an epiphany!! We should never never tone down our lights for fear they could outshine other people. NO NO NO....we have to let all of our lights shine as much as they can so that we can make a difference in this dark world. Me shining my light gives other women the power to let their lights shine too!!!!! If we all shine together we can make the world...this amazing world a beautiful place to be.
Wow i gave myself goose bumps. Anyways so I hope that this is helpful to whoever reads this. I wrote it like I would in my journal so weird. here I go trying to be all dull when what I really want is to be bright like the Son!!!:) wahooo ...have a happy day yall:)
im so excited to go to enrichment. Its been way too long. In hawaii we got reminders on our doors when we were gunna go. Anyways I keep missing them here cuase my memory is similar to the abys...so wide and empty:D hahah. anyways so Dancy is gunna call me and remind me yaee...
Something else big today is that my mom is coming down. Im gunna go back with her to Wyoming so Jake wont worry while he is in Hawaii. Im so excited for him!!! Yaeee for BYUH for bringing his show to town!!! its gunna be amazing:) and me and the boys will be safe and sound and entertained while hes gone:) lots of love:) mandy

Gotta love the Bible Dictionary:)

2008-05-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

BIBLE DICTIONARY
Charity:

The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deeds or benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive (1 Cor. 8: 1; 1 Cor. 13: 1-4, 8; 1 Cor. 13; 1 Cor. 14: 1. cf. Moro. 7: 47).

I just want to remember times I have felt Charity.
1. When Jakey boy was on his way I felt just complete love for everyone in the room and everyone out of the room too:) I was in pain and uncomfortable, but never have I felt more excitement or joy or just peace, acceptance and love. I even loved the lady who missed the epidural shot four times. I loved her more when it finally went in the fith time after fourty five minuets!! HAHAHA. I felt so loved.
Before I went into labor I was sure that I would not even want Jake in the room. Perfect strangers who i would never see again was just fine:) However, when the day arived I was sooo excited and happy that I invited my whole family!! Ruth, Jakes mom, was there and Meilani my sister in law, my Mom was there and My lovely sister Beth was there along with Jake and a whole slew of nurses and doctors. The guys and Liana were right outside having a party on the patio...cool set up by the way:) I was not weireded out by it at all that day:) Any one who wanted to be there for the celebration was welcome:) I felt like the other side wassooo close and I bet all my kids were there and other people I loved but couldnt see. It was amazing!!
I think that is the first time I felt real charity. It would be such a neat thing to have that feeling all the time:)
2. After a big confrence in Hawaii. I think it was a confrence for poeple with callings and I went for the releif society or something like that. Anyways after the meeting I think we all felt the same feeling. It was so unawkward. You know saying goodbyes and hellos to people is sometimes awkward for me and this time it was beautiful. Wonderful. FUN!! I loved all those people and it was just neat:)
3. I felt charity or true love one time when Jake took me in the backyard to pray. I was having a horrible week. Jake said a prayer with me and then hugged me and all my worries and stress and fears just were gone I could feel them leave. I went home that night and read the scripture perfect love casteth out all fear. At the time I read it Chases out all fear and that was what it felt like. His love chased out all my fears:)
4. That time I was offended by my friend and I prayed to see her like Jesus saw her. Man that was amazing!! I could not have a bad thought about her but knew that she was beautiful and lovely and praisworthy:) she was a wonderful mother and her saying things had nothing to do with me and she needed to be loved. very cool:)
5. Oh there are many small moments Ive felt charity but I think the coolest moments are when Im putting the boys to bed and there is just a moment where all is good in the world and my boys could do no wrong and they are peaceful and Oh I could eat that stuff up:)

Its good to relive these memories:) ill have to come back and edit this later:) here it is for now. baby calls:D

I'm like a star:)

2008-05-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

This is a pic of me and Jake and Jakey when we were the three amigos:)
Im Like a Star:):D I love that song. Jakey made me sing it to him last night for bed. I was just reminded of that when I was reading some comments. I have been so worried about people reading my posts but I've had some good responses and maybe what I say can be uplifting to others:) I know I love reading what other people have to say about these same things. Anyways so I'm gunna sing that song when ever I get nervous about being honest:)

Im like a star shining brightly...shining for the whole world to see...I can do and say...happy things each day...for I know Heavenly Father loves me.

So instead of being scared and unshure Im just gunna pretend Im a star shinging brightly:) Nobody hates stars...lol Yaeee for primary songs and the love I feel when I sing em:)

I remember when I was a primary song leader and I would always ask if anyone had an experience with music that week. I will never forget how primary songs helped me get through some of the hardest moments in my life. Especially when I am alone when Jake is out of town. It gets scary some times but if i would just pop a song into my head I would feel a million times better. Warm fuzzies you know...:)I am a Child of God is one of my favorites. When Im having a bad day I just have to sing that one about the lilacs or count your many blessings or my all time fav...There is sunshine in my soul today:) Singing that song just fills me up to overflowing:)
Soooo I can totally sing primary songs when I am frustrated with life or motherhood ...and I can feel so much better in seriously the time it takes to sing the song. I just need a reminder that life is good:) Im so grateful that Jakey boy asked me to sing that song last night so I could feel better about my blog and have something to write about:) Its so nice to sing the boys my favs too. I hope they feel the same love I do when I sing em:)

Mother's perspective

2008-05-07T12:16:00.000-07:00

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have ^adone it unto one of the ^bleast of these my ^cbrethren, ye have done it unto me.

There was a time right after I had Jakey boy that I felt totally worthless to the world. I was changing diapers all day long on a wacky sleeping scedual and having almost zero interaction with people who could talk...HAHAH. Well to say the least I was bummed out and felt like my brain and my spirituality was just kinda slipping away. Thank goodness for other mothers who have felt the same way. Meilani Told me she had been going through the same feelings and that she was trying to read the scriptures with a mothers perspective and she found this: Mathew 25:40. Who else is the least of these if it is not our children? They are helpless and they need to be taught love and charity and when I am changing Jakey's diaper I am helping my savior. What an amazing way to look at it. When I feed them and clothe them, when I wash them or help them get through a cold, when I visit them in time out:) hehe...I am serving them and by serving them I am serving you know who:D. How COOOL is THAT!!
I found this quote that shows how important the LDS view of motherhood is.

President David O. McKay (1873–1970): “[The] ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness … to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, … deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God” (Gospel Ideals [1954], 453–54).

So we who change diapers all day and get thrown up on and who feel like we are not making a difference are actually deserving of the "highest honor that man can give!" It fills me with inspiration and determination to do a good job and I know now that my job is sacred and awesome and nothing about it is small but extra Large:). Everything I do day to day is valued by those who matter most. Every runny nose I wipe , every song I sing and every book I read is counted and though I might not get thankyous I know that Heavenly Father is greatful for me and that is an amazing feeling!! I hope we can all feel his love and know that what we are doing is just amazing and powerful. What we do with our kids now will change the world.

I love this scripture now and everytime I need reminded why I am doing what I am doing, Why I am staying home instead of making us lots of money, I read this and I remember I am doing something here for my children that money cant buy. And I remember that I am sacrificing things of the world for things of an eternal value. How cool is it to have a constant loving person in your life. How cool is it that I get to be there for the first step and the first workd and all of the good stuff and the bad stuff. How cool is it that when they ask I can tell them :) really there is no harder or more fulfilling job in the world.

The time we have with our little ones will fly by and it would be so cool if we could look back and enjoyed every minuet we had with them again, in our memories. Wouldn't it be cool one day to look back and smile. Lets make some good memories today!!

Its hard to have charity when im distracted.

2008-05-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

TV, computer, books, cleaning, and the list goes on. When my kids try to talk to me when I'm doing any of these things i get bothered instead of happy and excited that I have awesome children that can talk and want to talk to me. Cuz everyone knows that when they get older the last thing they are gunna want to do is talk to mom. Anyways so I think I need to shift my priorities. Ive known and seen this for a long time and its time to change right? If I want charity then I have to actually act like I have it...right? and stop doing what I'm doing and hear what they have to say. Even if its "Hey mom?" "yes" "you know what my elephant's name is?" "no what is your elephant's name?" "its Forton...hahhahah" Now that is sweet and cute right? and I should love it and enjoy it while I have it. Anyways my kids are my neighbors and I should treat them how I would want to be treated right? Well here is to my kids and treating them like I love them and adore them...cuz I do. They should know it:) and I'm being tested even as I write this:) so far so good:)

"Edifieth"

2008-05-01T14:32:00.000-07:00

1Crointhians 8:1
Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.

Edifieth = builds up, strengthens, establishes, repairs.

The part of this scripture that grabs me is the end. "Charity edifieth." Then the foot note on edifieth is just cool. So if:
Charity=edify
and
Edifieth = builds up, strengthens, establishes, repairs
then
charity= builds up, strengthens, establishes, repairs.
So when I have charity I am building people up. I am strengthening others and establishing stuff as well as making things better. In other words I'm bringing good into the world. I'm not destroying things or making people feel bad even when I feel bad. Actually I guess if I have charity im not feeling bad either:)
Sometimes its so hard to be a builder upper. When the milk spills all over the kitchen floor and you see who did it, now is when the test of charity comes. Am I gunna give a nasty look and sigh or say something not so nice or......Am I gunna smile and say hey milk bath everyone jump in!!! just kidding. I experience this a lot and when I am feeling the love I say "Hey honey its okay. Lets clean it up, there is no use crying over spilt milk." You know what is funny? Usually when I'm not feeling the love I spill something five minuets later and realize why am I yelling at my kids for making an accident??? We all make accidents! So in the moment Im gunna show my kids that accidents happen and they can be cleaned up and its really gunna be okay. I think Heavenly Father is soooo super patient. If I want ot be like him I should put on my patient pants too:)
I really want my family to be stronger and I know that I am a big part of that. When I have charity I strengthen my bonds with my husband and my kiddos:) I want to have a happy home and when I feel the love I can see the love in their eyes coming right back at me. There is nothing better than a big hug and a kiss on the neck from your hubby when he walks in the door. Sometimes I have to think would I want to kiss me right now or run the other way? HAHA. We cant feel the love always because we are not perfect but I think its important to remember that making the choice to be happy makes the day so much easier.
By the way I always associate love charity and happiness as the same thing. They all give me good lovely feelings so they must come from the same place.
I think this is a good blog for today. This feels so good. Alohaaa:)

We can Chat online with Missionaries!!!

2008-05-01T14:22:00.000-07:00

http://mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/ask-a-question/chat-live

So I was blogging and had a question I couldnt find on the curch web site and I came upon this!! I can talk to missionaries in an easy unscary way!! soooo cool!! anyways so I typed in my name and my eamil and I got to talk with someone Named AMANDA!!! how cool is that. Thats the name I signed in with. Anyways so everyone check it out and go get your questions answered by real people in real time:)!!! Im so excited about this!! love it!!

Leviticus 19:18

2008-04-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

18 ¶ Thou shalt not ^aavenge, nor bear any ^bgrudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt ^clove thy ^dneighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.

So interesting story. I had this grudge against a friend of mine for a really long time. I was totally offended by something she said and I didnt know how to get over it. Well time rolled by and I avoided avoided avoided wherever I could. I finally started studying charity when I got a new calling and I realized after a lot of studying that I could pray for this and for charity for this girl and I knelt and prayed to see her like he did. Cuz how in the world could that not be offensive. Well. I got my answer and just for a minuet I was filled with so much love for this girl at that time. I realized that she was a daughter of God and that I shouldnt be offended at all. Man I wish I could feel like that all the time!!! I got a taste of it then and I want more so here I am picking scriptures on charity for my own personal growth. yall are welcome to read it just know its all from me and Im no expert:) hopefully i can become one in my studying:) how cool would that be!! to feel the love all day every day...I sooo want that!!!

Love they neighbor as they self and dont hold grudges. I can work on that. I think first things first we have to learn how to love ourselves. You know what I mean. No saying ew when we look in the mirror. Say nice things to myself and then treat others with the same decency. not holding grudges. Really do we need the baggage? we can pray to have the baggage removed. For him to change our hearts toward ourselves and then towards others. Anyways when someone does do something wrong its not my place to judge. Seriously I have made so many mistakes in my life who am I to condemn someone else for making one. No matter how big it is.